Free, Or is It?

A little bit of history to begin this post.

Of course there are EXAMPLES to describe the headline.

Example: Way back in the 1950’s and 1960’s in the downtown of my hometown, and perhaps many more, there would be stationed on each of the four corners of an intersection an attractive female with a welcoming smile giving out free sample packs of cigarettes. I think there were four cigarettes in each pack. She would do this mostly during the high pedestrian traffic times of the morning and evening rush hours during the warmer months of the year.

You would simply go up to her, extend your hand, perhaps offer a civil greeting and back then I am most certain you would say “Thank You”. If you asked, “can I have another”, can I have one for my friend, can I have as many as you can give me”, she would, most likely, accommodate your request. Greedy, yet, discrete folks would cross the street 3-4 times and get free sample cigarettes from as many of the women giving them out. This ritual would present itself for a week or two and then she would not be there. However, you liked smoking cigarettes so much you went to the corner store and made the purchase. Little did we know back then. We usually only consider the short term rather than the long term results. Since we had little accurate information on which to base our decisions we took advantage of the give-a-ways in a trusting way. Time heals some wounds and time wounds some heels.

Example:During this same time period manufacturers of toothpaste, soap, cleaning products, cereals and other household merchandise would send free samples (redundant isn’t it free and sample) to your home via the mail. Often, inside the package was a coupon you could use on your next purchase.

Example: In modern times, especially with food, free samples dominate. If you are of the kind who likes tasting free samples at the grocery store you arrive at mealtime and indulge in the unlimited amount of freebies offered, perhaps, engaging the staff in conversation during your stand-up meal. Here, too, there are often coupons offered for your next pruchase which the company hopes is today after you taste their products.

Example: About fifteen years ago I developed acid reflux (yuck). The doctor prescribed medication but gave me ‘free samples’ that lasted until my next visit whereupon he gave me more free samples. I did not feel guilty taking the free samples since I knew he received the free samples from the company sales representative who was probably vacationing on a tropical island as the sales contest winner for that particular medicine.

Example: Many banks offer free coffee while you wait. Candy, ice cream and beverages are offered at retail locations. The deli will offer you a slice of cheese or meat to see if it is cut at the right thickness for you. Food is abundant and everywhere. Once you know where to go you can go on a double date just the two of you. The double comes from eating free food samples in one or two stores and finding the dessert stores in your area.

Example: On a somewhat darker side, street pharmacists will offer free samples of the latest “feel good” non-prescribed (not over the counter) stuff at clubs, on the corner and at gatherings.

My cousin and I were walking the streets of a large city on a bright sunny summer day. We were followed by a street vendor who provided a non-stop list of his products offering free samples and “special deals” for multiple purchases. Finally, we stopped walking, turned to him and said we were not interested. He left us and proceeded to his next target. Throw enough stuff against the wall and some of it will stick (thanks Pop). I am most certain he made a good, yet illegal, living by doing this direct sales method not caring about his customers health, safety and well being. Sound familiar. Watch the news to find out that some legitimate businesses do the same thing but have experts prepare “written statements” justifying their position while they settle cases claiming no culpability, accountability and responsibility. Thus, no consequences. Not my fault is the cry. How creative is that. Pay a little fine and live off of the ill-gotten gain.  One ship, truck or car is captured carrying illegal stuff and while that vehicle is searched scores of similarly loaded vehicles go on their way and the cycle continues.

Example: The food court at the mall is a good place to dine for free. Get there around 11:30 AM or so and sample the goodies they hope you will buy. Not all the merchants participate in the hand outs but word spreads rather quickly as to who is giving our what. It is quite a spectacle to watch the choreography of those seeking a tasty treat for free.

Example: When we were kids, walking the boardwalks of beach towns, we would go into the many fudge and candy stores and boldly ask for a free sample which we most often received. They were small pieces and after a few free samples, especially the rich fudge, we went about way our playing on the beach and in the water. I”ll bet folks still do this. I know they do at ice cream stores, since I worked at three ice cream stores, with those tiniest of tiny free sample spoons holding what looks like a dollop of ice cream.

I am not too worldly these days but I am most certain you have more current examples of the chase for the FREE which is not really a chase since it is in your face most everywhere you go.

There is no free lunch. Eventually somebody pays something. Usually it is us who pays not only the cost and price but the consequences of falling prey to temptation.

Keep It Simple – Keep It Real

Join (for free) my movement.  No not that kind of movement.


I am so slow I have to speed up to stop. Not a bad way top approach life. Cars, trucks, buses and bikes have gears. Planes and trains have throttles. What do those things do, they CONTROL (from a previous BLOG) speed. Clock yourself. Are you constantly on the go asking yourself “where I am I going in this job, relationship, social situation and life in general”. Gotta get my steps in today, 10,000 should do it. Now I can go eat all those free samples and buy bigger clothes for retail therapy. The reverse of my Weight Loss Management and Control equation, again from a previous post.

In my SLOW DOWN MOVEMENT there is nothing to buy, no event to attend (though ya never know what might evolve) and certainly no “goodie bag” of more stuff to add to the clutter that you do not need.

All you have to do is SLOW DOWN and that you can do on your own unless of course, which is quite understandable, you need an advisor, coach, mentor, assistant, buddie, trainer and so forth. If that is the case I am available to do those things with and for you.









Did you know You Cannot NOT Communicate? Everything you do is a communication whether spoken, written, gesture, the eyes or body language. With all these forms of communications we still have problems communicating. With all the rules changes umpires and sports officials have problems as well. And they have replay to right any wrongs yet are still vulnerable to mistakes. What did you see? Not what you saw. Now what did he say? I don’t know. Do you understand? Nope, do you? Two hours in a meeting and I still don’t know what’s happening let alone what was said (ahh Eminems Gibberish).

Next time you are listening to a speaker drone on you’re waiting for the speaker to utter those oh so welcome words: In closing. Finally. Last for now (oh no, is there a next time)? We remember the last of the speakers words because we have been promoted to prepare to leave. Bathroom. Snack, Chit-Chat. Lunch. Fresh Air. Loosen the tie.We walk the communications line between understanding and being understood. I am so understanding I cannot understand anyone not understanding me (Lenny Bruce I think).

We have text, instant, e-mail, phone, bird chirps and posts (like this) yet we continue to encounter miscommunications. We speak, write and emote in letters and symbols. Words, let alone sentences and paragraphs are obsolete. We don’t have patience for them. Quick. Fast. Inefficient. Done. Click Send. Like our food. Quick. Fast. Unhealthy.

Example: Messages of more than a few sentences are rarely completely read. Thus the opening for miscommunications. With all the debt saddled communications majors from college one might think we would have better communications. It’s like the computer, which when they first came on the market and popular (not necessary, like today) the world was going to save the trees since everything would be “stored and secure” (hacking was not around yet I think) and the need for paper would be greatly reduced. We use more paper now than back then. Copy. Copy. Copy. Everyone needs and wants a copy. The start of clutter!!! I didn’t know. You didn’t tell me. The first thing head jockeys tell you is you must communicate with each other. A revelation.

Did you get my message? If not, here it is again. I love you. Really I do. Is the “really I do” necessary. Really I do is a Meta Message (How about that one). Yeah, a message about a message. Why? Are we insecure? Fear of rejection? Fear of success? Do we not believe the original message was received? Do we need to make our message more believable and forceful? When you tell someone you love them that is all you need to do. I Love You says it all. Most of us wait what seems to be a lifetime to hear those words. When it comes from your heart it is sincere, honest and true. Imagine there are those who have never been told those three little words. Sad.

Communications: Mixed Messages. Lets’ go back to I love You. It becomes a mixed message when you are told I Love You followed by some form of inappropriate action such as a physical encounter. I thought you loved me. why did you hurt me?

Mixed Message; Telling kids not to smoke as you are hacking up a lung, with a cigarette pack visible in your shirt pocket, yellow / brown stained teeth and smelling like a full ashtray. You are not believable and a poor role model. Don’t say. DO!!! Lead by example. That’s what Leadership is all about not from a book, seminar, symposium forum, e-learning, lecture and workshop. Leadership is leading not talking about it. Communications is at the forefront of Leadership. Open doors. Accessible. Aware.

Communications Message: Trust: You tell your “friend”. I’ll pick you up from work at  10 PM. It’s 11:15 PM and they are still waiting for you. Here comes the excuses which from earlier posts you know are explanations for failures. Trust is broken. Next time I’ll get a lift from oobur.

Everything is fine, until it isn’t.

I thought I was wrong once but I was mistaken.

Keep It Simple – Keep -It Real.



The Power Of ONE!!!

The “Power of One” Can CONTROL even for a little bit!!!

While driving along the raceway, highway and speedway erratically maneuvering through and about the multiple lanes of Interstate 95 between Dade County and Palm Beach County I noticed at a few points along interstate traffic would slow quite abruptly in a sea of red tail lights illuminating even the brightness of a sunny Florida day. Why, you ask. Here’s why.

Example: Positioned on the shoulder of the road was a parked marked police vehicle. As I drove past the parked vehicle I noticed there was no officer inside the vehicle. Just the police vehicle itself was enough to slow the speed and daring moves of drivers who needed to be slowed down. Of course, once past the parked police vehicle most resumed their race, pace and chase to their destination since they did not want to be late for something so important it required increased speed and risk, fueled by adrenaline, to reach their goal.

By making TIME your friend you can avoid the need to rush, hurry and take chances you normally might not take. When time is your friend you WIN in the game of life.


Say you get up late. You need to shower, shave and relieve yourself. You’re rushed which leads to perhaps a cut or two while shaving, not being patient enough to allow time for the water temperature to reach your desired level and you miss the bowl. Of course you never lift the seat or if you do lift the seat you do not return it to the down position. Sorry ladies.

While getting dressed a button falls off your shirt, you can’t find your belt, now where’s the other shoe and when you zip up, OUCH. Guys have all done this and it is a big OUCH.

You make it to the kitchen where there is only a sip remaining in the milk container so you search for an alternative beverage. No time to make coffee which could have been  prepared the previous night. What about lunch. Last night, as well, was the time to make it. I’ll get something at work. Oops no cash. I think there’s some crackers in my desk. Gotta stop at the ATM. Wait, no time. I’m running late.

Out the door. Cloudy sky. Better get the umbrella if only I knew where it was. In the car. Where’s the keys. In the house. I can’t get in. No keys. They’re all on the same key chain, fob or lanyard. Garage door. What’s the code? Have to call my wife. Where’s my phone? Got it. Down to 2% charge. One call is all I need. Hello. She’s doesn’t hear my call. I’ll text. She texts back with the code. In the house. Got the keys and wallet, too, which I forgot to take in my haste to Get Up!!! Get Out!!! Get Going!!!.

Off to work. School bus, trucks, construction, rain (no umbrella which I did not get since I was distracted looking for the keys), red traffic lights. Oh no. I forget my briefcase with all the papers for my important meeting.

In the parking lot. Loads of rain. No close by parking spot only far away from the door. No umbrella. Soaking wet. At the office greeted by “Meeting cancelled” until tomorrow.

The greatest gift you can give someone is TIME. Give TIME to yourself.

Back to the POWER OF ONE:


In towns all over our country you will find the daily ritual and routine of getting to and going home from school.

In one town the daily schedule finds traffic proceeding smoothly during the morning dash and rush to work. Around 7:15 AM and 2:30 PM the CONTROL person arrives on the scene to maintain order and CONTROL of the multiple vehicular and pedestrian travelers.

The road is two lanes, one east bound and the other west bound. There is a turning lane in each direction and a cross walk for pedestrians. In addition to cars, trucks and buses there are parents pushing and some running behind their baby filled strollers, walkers and kids riding bikes. Even in today’s world you will find a kid or two riding a bike to school. Isn’t that great!!!

ONE person is in control: A Police Officer who manages everyone’s movement. No honking horns. No pointing fingers. No screaming out of windows. No erratic driving habits. No inappropriate behavior. Only CONTROL by the POWER OF ONE.

The Police Officer is in CONTROL. He directs the turning the lanes into and exiting the school. He motions for east and west bound traffic to stop and resume. He stops all vehicles when the crosswalk is in use. The Police Officer CONTROLS all this movement in a synchronized, choreographed, efficient and timely ballet of motion. The Power of One.

I have provided two examples but I am most certain you have your own but prior to now you may not have given it any consideration or thought. Perhaps Law Enforcement does theses type of CONTROL procedures not only to CONTROL traffic flow but to save us time, money, lost time at work and all the other inconveniences we can encounter by not allowing TIME to be our friend.

The Power Of One. You are the ONE. You have the POWER.









How SMART are We?

We have SMART:













Many more about which I am unaware since I am not smart..

We have Marcus Smart, an excellent basketball player, who is soooooooo SMART he just signed a multi-million basketball contract probably because he is Smart but, also, perhaps, because he surrounds, himself with SMART FOLKS which, of course, makes him SMART well beyond his family name. This did not happen by chance. We see Mr. Smart play the game. What we don’t see is the behind the scenes work which is all it is, work (maynard g. krebs) to us but for Mr. Smart it is passion, heart, desire, ambition, sacrifice, determination, resiliency and much more. We don’t want to hear that. We want to see the finished product and to be entertained for an hour or two.

I would chuckle when I heard about a “One Person Concert” coming to the sold out stadium. One person, no way, Hundreds of folks behind the scenes: musicians, dancers, lighting, sound, electronics, caterers, travel mangers, make-up, business folks, drivers, crews of all sorts and many other people responsible to make it appear as advertised: One Person Show. We don’t care about all that we just want to see the show and be entertained for a couple of hours.

It’s like Thanksgiving Dinner. The hours of shopping, storing, prepping blended with 6-7 hours of cooking is all gone in about an hour when everyone is ready for a nap since Turkey has stuff in it, maybe natural maybe not, that makes us sleepy. Fact or Myth. Who knows. It is expected so it happens.

SMART People do not have all the answers but they know where to go to get the answers.

Example: Reference Librarians. They must wear ear plugs (not buds) to keep all that information is their brains. Pick a topic, ask a Reference Liberian and you will be given resources you never knew existed.

We have all this SMART stuff, but, sad to say, we have stupid people. Yeah, I’m in the group. At least I admit it. Will you?

When I was a kid, My Dad, brother and I were in the yard cutting down branches from trees. We tied the pieces with twine and placed them at curbside for pick-up on trash day.

Halfway through our chores we ran out of twine so Dad asked me to go see Mr. Kroll at the hardware store and buy a spool of twine, which I did.

Upon returning home Dad asked for the twine. I took the twine in hand and proceeded to tear away the protective plastic covering exposing the entire ball of twine as it unfurled right there. I did not know to keep the twine in the plastic covering so that it could be easily cut into a desired length. That was as simple task complicated by a stupid person, me. Dad said; “Geez, they teach you everything is school except how to live, exist and function in the real world. Not much has changed since then. In fact it has worsened with all the SMART stuff out there.

Instead of learning Life Skills through work, play, responsibility, accountability and consequences we use “experts” in everything to address, not solve, reduce or eliminate the concerns. We are offered resources, available on-line using your SMART stuff, instead of speaking with a Reference Librarian type person, which is a free service paid for by us and small in economic costs compared to hourly rates of the experts.

When things are constantly done for us (enabling not empowering) learning does not take place. Why? Because we learn from mistakes. Don’t touch the hot stove. I’ll show you. OUCH. I won’t be doing that again. As life progresses WE make it more complicated than it actually is by trying to be smart when we are not prepared since we did not learn how to do it the proper way. It’s only a mistake when we don’t learn from our mistakes which we, guaranteed, will make.

Don’t say your smart. Show you are smart.

Keep It Simple – Keep It Real




Good Friday Morning even though is not the official Good Friday. It is my “Un” day

The following is brought to you by me, for free, and un-sponsored, for today is an un-ordered, un-strcutuered, un-scheduled and random rant about stuff. Odd part is some of what follows is about control which for the next hour I am willingly relinquishing for the good of the guy at the keyboard and perhaps you as well. Let it go and you will grow.

Welcome to the Best of BLOG. Unlike “best in class” which I never was for many reasons though I didn’t settle for second best, put myself to the test and found out second, third and so on ain’t that bad. We all need to find our place and space. This is why I NEVER recommend a movie, restaurant or most anything except my BLOG since it is good for me and YOU. Why? Because of the Power of Definition. Who or what defines BEST? A Primate Survey. Questionnaire. Opinions. I read it on the Internet so it must be true.

How is it that every doctor recommended to you is the best, the very best (meta message) in his field. We all can’t be the top student. Somebody is number two. I was about 350 out of 360 and glad to have graduated. Nurturing my heart will tell me that’s good and find something artificially positive when in fact I had to face the truth that I wasn’t the best. I was okay with that and still am. Even modern day top ten lists have a number one and a number ten. Who makes that decision? Judges? I always questioned movie critics who tore apart, analyzed, critiqued, criticized and sometimes spoke well of a movie. I thought if they knew so much as experts, BEST, and were so critical they should make a movie and let us do their job.

Speaking of CONTROL. Was I? (not from Get Smart you TV and movie folks) I mean CONTROL.

Example: A baseball pitcher cannot find the strike zone when pitching in the game. His pitches are wildly all over the place and the batter, catcher and umpire are in the line of fire and fear the unknown. I know this because it happened to me. I played Fast Pitch Softball. My position was shortstop. One day our catcher did not make it to the game. The coach looked at me and said, “put on the gear” which I did without hesitation having never been a catcher. Our main pitcher could put the ball anywhere I placed my glove as his target. He did this with any of the four types of pitches he threw. He had CONTROL. In the middle of the game he was called away to report to his work location. Our second pitcher took over. He was wild off the field and even wilder on the pitching mound. He threw only one pitch, a fast pitch, which had no direction and never reached its destination which was my glove. He pitched to the first batter he faced resulting in the batter reaching first base via a “walk”. To the second batter he threw five pitches two of which made contact with my unprotected private region. The sixth pitch found the same private region. I threw off the catchers mask and told the coach I am going to back to shortstop. The coach made a few adjustments and since he was a player-coach he took over the catching but kept his guard up. He, too, took pitches to the privates but he was wearing protection. What happened here was the second pitcher had no control and was taken out the game.

When we get out of control nothing good happens.

Soooooooooo, I want to include another cliche to “Best In Class”.

“To The Next Level”. Progress. Advancement. Upward Mobility. Keeping Up. Drive. Ambition. Spiral Up. Spiral Down. Down goes faster than up. like money. It takes a long time to save for something and a few minutes to click “buy”. Disappointment. Let Down. When will we be satisfied. Want to see how fast thirty days go? Sign an IOU at the bank.

We all reach our own level of incompetence. The wise folks know when they arrive. It is un-settling. It is a conscious awareness of the end (definition) of their journey. Best of all it does not have to be permanent only a delay or time-out from the quest for “success” which has already been achieved and conquered only often we don’t appreciate what we have accomplished and take it for granted. The wise in awaiting must do that, wait. When you get it either on your own or with support, guidance and help you are empowered. There is no clock like in baseball. Only time, which must be your friend explained in detail in an upcoming BLOG.

Most artists are highly critical of their own work. I could / should have done this, or that. I could / should have taken more time, used different materials and so forth. But, rare as they are, artists create beauty from pain. We could all use a dose of that because we are all hurting we just have to say it ourselves and someone we trust. I always thank the artist for allowing me to visit the place where they live. I can’t get there without the artist.

To move away from the rant I will chant.

I know I can, since way back I would say I can’t.

Keep It Simple – Keep It Real





Some Silliness – Some Serious – All Simple

*Points To Ponder as You Wonder What the Heck is This Guy Talking About?

*Also, a few tidbits of useless information from my vast warehouse and storage facility.

What we do good nobody remembers, what we do bad nobody forgets

It is not good to eat or drink on an empty stomach (huh)

In order to get there first you gotta leave (so Get Up!!! Get Out!!! Get Going!!!)

What are the consequences of Peace?

Women will agree that there are never enough restrooms at the airport, train station, bus stations and many more places about which I, and probably most men, are not aware.

It takes a lifetime to build a good reputation and only a few seconds to destroy it.

We are not afraid of failure, we are afraid of success.

Without customers to service you have no business so please serve your customers. (deep breath, step away for a few seconds, overwhelm them with kindness, put yourself in your happy place and do whatever you do to relax when the customers are wrong which they are but we do not want to hurt their feelings so we let them “dump” on us which is, also, soooooooo wrong but we are driven by the dollar)

I stayed awake all last night to see if I snored and I didn’t.

When someone makes you feel bad they feel worse than you do only they don’t want to be on the bottom (feeling lower than whale dung in the ocean) so they torment, harass badger, intimidate and bully someone they know will not resist. They are the weak, meek and sneakily discreet.

I thought I was wrong once but I was mistaken.

Courage is fear that does not control.

I’m so slow I have to speed up to stop.

Don’t look at my methods look at my results.

What did Beyonce become when asked to marry? She became Beyonce The Fiancee,

I never forget anything I remember and I never remember anything I forget.

*Job Experience explanation:

Two folks are interviewing for one job. The Personnel Manager, oops I am sorry the Hiring Manager, oops my mistake again, I mean the Human Resources Manager, oops, I did again (like Brittany years back), I’m referring to The Talent Acquisition and Executive Management Team asks each applicant about their related job experiences for the past five years.

The first person, Joe from my BLOG on Weight Loss Management and Control, offers his story which includes starting at the bottom (entry level, do they still call it entry level?) and progressing his way the up by assuming added responsibilities, supervising subordinates (sounds so sterile doesn’t it) and holding the keys. All this shows growth, advancement and motivation. Joe has five years experience.

The second person, Tom also from my previous BLOG (remember let’s keep it simple), started his entry level work the same time Joe did, five years ago. Tom says he has five years experience, doing his entry level job, which he does only it actually is one year of experience times five.

If someone ask to borrow a tissue please tell them they can keep it. Who wants that back?

When using the bathroom to take a __****__, remember you don’t take you leave. You leave it behind since that is it place of origin , the behind that is.

Keep it Simple – Keep it Real





You ‘Bout Ready To Play?

Good Afternoon All,

It is time play The Cliche Game.

You know and probably use cliches which is our way to keep from thinking of more appropriate words to use. We are a lazy lot, at times. We settle for our fall back position of familiarity and comfort without having to think of a more creative, selective and fitting response. Cliches are the bread crumbs, corn flakes and helper fillers to stretch your thoughts without having to challenge your cranium.

The game is easy to play. All you have to do is copy the following list, I know another list but Wallechinsky, et al made boo-coo bucks a generation or more ago with The Book of Lists, so either copy this page or write the cliches on paper for yourself.

Next to each cliche put a check mark, or other symbol you like, (so many choices) next to the cliche each time your hear the cliche used. The easiest place to play this game is by watching any type of the so-called talk shows, especially news, sports, house repairs and food programs. This may be difficult since several speakers speak at the same time making actual listening and understanding a bit difficult, but once you’re in the zone and can focus on the cliches it will get easier. You’ll even learn about body language as they show their eagerness to jump in and take over the discussion because as we know what they have to say is sooooooooooo important. Opinions are like belly buttons, everybody has one.

Another good place to listen is if you work in an office with its constant distractions of meetings, phone calls, text messages, e-mails, social (a-social, remember) media and memos. All will contain cliches but meetings will have cliches repeated, repeated and repeated some more. You walk out of there brainwashed with cliches, confused about the meetings content and purpose often saying or thinking, “what went on in there”. Hopefully go back to your desk, locate this BLOG and add all the check marks you just heard at the meeting.

My Cliche List is not complete since additions occur at any time depending on acceptance, popularity, ratings, annoyance level and use or rather over use.

*Amazing (soon you will discover why this is at the top of the list)

*At The End Of the Day (awkward when this is said at midnight or later)

*Unbelievable (hard to believe this made the list. by default most certainly)

*Same Page (same page, different everything))

*No Brainer (nothing can happen with no brain, like nothing happens without the written product like a book)

*Like Money In The Bank (nothing is like having money in the back or money anywhere)

*Thank You Very Much Have A Nice Day (the cliche origin for me working at the deli)

*Lose The Battle, Win The War (no winners in war, except the profiteers)

*Lesser of Two Evils (Sort of looks like Elvis for those of us with Dyslexia)

*Outside The Box (’tis actually good but not encouraged, thinking outside the box, that is)

*Hearts, Thoughts and Prayers (sad that this has become the norm whatever norm is  except the guy in Cheers on the bar stool)

*Fought Tooth (Moose) and Nail (Squirrel) (who wins tooth or nail? (nobody)

*Gave It Everything They Had (giving is to make you feel good, what is this about)

*Hell Bent (anybody been there? so maybe it is not a straight road)

*Bring To The Table (food is always welcome)

*Impact (retract impact and use another word but not so much that it, too, becomes cliche)

*Happening In Real Time (is there fake time as there are fake many others things)

*Pull The Trigger ( image is frightening so let’s stop using this one, but they won’t))

*Good to Go (are you sure?)

*Flying Under The Radar (who of us can actually fly? maybe Radar in the 4077)

*Go To Guy (for what, get it yourself: empowerment)

*Love You To Death (opposites do not attract, nothing to love about death)

*Not On My Watch (it’s too little to hold anything though good for indicating the time)

*Good For The Goose, Good For the Gander (how do we know this)

*Your Goose Is Cooked (what did the goose ever do to gain such status)

*Good Job (kids hear this ad nauseum for the slightest accomplishment)

*Push The Envelop (only into the mail slot)

*Cutting Edge (ouch, especially paper cuts)

*The Whole Nine Yards (not enough for a first down to keep the drive alive)

*The Whole Enchilada (which I do consume when out to eat my favorite meal)

*State Of The Art (every state has art, unless art is new state)

*Slipping Through The Cracks (this one cracks me up. I fear losing my keys that slip thought the cracks of street water drains)

*Six Of One Half, A Dozen Of The Other (optimist / pessimist either way you have a six pack)

*Presence Of Mind (your mind is a gift not a present)

*Raise The Bar (pole vaulting anyone or is the corner bar being relocated)

*Word To The Wise (oh those potato chips a few words and a whole bag of chips)

*Give You A Heads Up (what a car is coming, we played lots of street ball)

*I Got Your Back (nobody’s got your back but you)

*Nothing Left In The Tank (you can still travel even when the orange / yellow light is on)

*Put All You Eggs In One Basket (too much protein and cholesterol for me, until a new study comes out paid for by ????)

*Hello. I’ m __________. I’ll Be Your Server Today (tennis anyone)

*One Hand Washes The Other (only 60% of guys wash their after using a public bathroom. Sure, doubt me. Look it up. I read it on the internet so it must be true.

*Anyone you call and are script greeted with: (always at dinner time or during Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune)

Thank You For Your Call. This is ______. How May I Help You? How may I direct Your Call?

That’s enough. Even I am sick of cliches and can’t wait to hear them and others when I watch television or look at television. Which do I do, watch or look?. I’m not sure what I do except I know the cliche world awaits everywhere all day anytime. Listen Listen and Listen and you it will be “AMAZING” at what you hear throughout your day. I hope you put a check next to Amazing up top since I just wrote a cliche.

Unrelated to this BLOG, since it just entered my thoughts, is a Point to Ponder which is:

How does that red line appear under a misspelled word. Where does it come from? It’s like a zit, it just appears. How does it know I spelled it wrong? More importantly, when that read line appears I know I failed just like in school when my work, and perhaps yours as well, came back to you with red ink all over.












Differences: Some Silly, Some Serious, All Simple Once You Get It

The Difference Between Women and Men. You ready for this. Women will agree. Men will say, yeah he’s right but I’ll never admit it. Those are the same guys who never  changed their babies diapers and brag about it. The same guys who don’t leave a tip at restaurants and hotels or wherever tips are expected. Why, ’cause they never worked for tips. Off topic once again but when the happy, silly and spot-on thoughts enter they must exit. This a good forum for me or anyone, to do so.

Let’s say two women are waiting for the bus or train. While waiting, usually instinctively,  they start a conversation about anything. Within ten minutes they will know it all. Top- Bottom – Inside – Outside – Backwards – Forward – Upside Down: names, kids, schools, jobs, men, where they live and work, struggles, stories about their Mother’s, cycle time, ailments, hair and nails. From there the breaking of the ice forms a unique bond which perhaps only occurs at the bus /train station. But, at least the foundation of common ground was formed.

Two men can stand in the same place as the women for twenty years and never get past: Hey, ya see the game last night?

Women get it. Men can’t, wont’ or don’t want to get there. Don’t want to show our vulnerabilities do we guys?

As always the best explanation is an example so here we go:

When our kids were born my wife had Birth Announcement Cards made indicating the name, height, weight, hair color, eye color and a simple welcoming message about our kids entering the world.

She mailed them to family, friends, co-workers and neighbors. She had a dozen or so leftover from her mailing and asked if I would like to mail an announcement to the guys I have been playing basketball with 2-3 times per week for three years.

I said “mail them out, I don’t even know their names. One guys is a plumber. One guy drives a big truck. One guy always shoots. One guy never passes”. Guys, we don’t get there the way women do. Someday perhaps.


The difference between an offensive lineman and a defensive lineman. Guys will get this better that the one above.

A defensive lineman can rip a computer into a million parts.

An offensive lineman can put it back together.

I was defensive lineman. Nuff ‘said.

I could never be an offensive lineman. Too cerebral. Too many assignments. Too much to think about and remember. I was a put your head down and go guy working as a part of a synchronized team of defenders. I had fun playing defense and would not have had fun playing offensive though I did try it a few times. Not for me. Hey, I learned something about myself by doing this. Finding out what you like often comes from finding out what you don’t like. What a concept. Not the open floor concept of those television construction scripted shows but a concept about discovery of yourself..

By the way, throughout this BLOG and my entire BLOG it is never my intention to hurt anyone’s feelings which I am most certain someone out there will experience so let me apologize now if this happened to you. My apologies to all the offensive lineman. I am envious and respect what you do.


The Difference Between: Enabled and Empowered

By now all of us know that if you take a person fishing you can eat today but when teach a person how to fish they can eat everyday since you are not there. Over used, over stated, over simplified and a bit cliche-ish. However it is a simple definition of the difference between enable and empower.

Parents empower their kids. When. When teaching kids how to ride a bike, tie their shoelaces, clean themselves after using the toilet, make their lunch, wash the dishes, clear the table, take out the trash, clean their rooms, say please, thank you, yes ma’am, yes sir and teach kids their ABC’s, 1-2-3’s, letters, numbers, shapes and colors before kids enter the school world so the teachers do not have teach those basics. Kids enter the school world empowered and ready for teachers to actually teach rather than begin with no foundation. It is the parents job and responsibility to prepare kids an the teachers teachers job to teach and not pay outiof their own money for school supplies. Where is all that money going. Administration maybe?. It is, also, the parents job to instill discipline, respect and manners for their kids so teachers can teach without distractions and interruptions. I know I am dreaming. Get rid of the electronics and see what happens. We all will be surprised, pleased and satisfied. I know I am right just like I know the protestors are right. It just takes a generation or two for the mainstream to realize it. Let me, right here, say that I use the word parents which includes grandparents, nannies, care givers and everyone else responsible for the kids health, safety, up-bringing and overall well being. Don’t want to exclude or hurt anyone’s feelings.

Now where was I. Oh those tangents which I never understood in math class but I go on one almost every BLOG Post. I hope they are informative and a little amusing just like me and my BLOG.

When we keep doing for kids, especially without limitations, boundaries and consequences they do not develop a sense of responsibility and accountability resulting in an environment of enabling and entitlement not empowerment. Think of the valedictorian in your school. The smartest kid, All kinds of awards, certificates, affirmations, successes with an ego the size of the classroom globe. What does this kid do. Goes to a college with a hundred or so other valedictorians to find out hey I am not what I was in high school. Gee, I thought I was empowered. Everyone told me I was the best, greatest, smartest, gifted and talented. Maybe I am not. Nah, not me. I am still all of that and more. Just wait my friend. Humble pie is awaiting. Be ready. It stinks and hurts but from there you can begin to learn, grow and prosper on your own which is kind of scary. We teach kids everything except how to exist in the “real world”. Now, how do you address an envelope? Where does the stamp go? How many stamps do I need? The empowered person does not have all the answers but knows where to go to get answers. The enabled person still doesn’t know what a return address is and why it is used. Hard to believe but it’s out there.

How do you know what is good if you never experienced bad. Lets say your life is perfect without ever being told that perfect does not exist. You are an academic success, all star athlete, good looking, envied by all, hated by some as well. Live in a beautiful house, (not a home, read below please), have beautiful clothes, go on vacation and so forth. One day you wake up and there is a pimple on your face. You hide in shame afraid to be seen. Uncomfortable in your own skin. Oh the humiliation and embarrassment just from a simple (get it) pimple. Yet another drift away from the topic but still appropriate.

All simple stuff right? Remember my BLOG is Keep It Simple – Keep it Real.

Simple works best. I am a simple guy which is why folks get along with me. They like the simple things in life.


The Difference Between: Winning and Losing

Why did we lose? We were not prepared. We did not practice. The referee did not like us. It was too cold. We did not listen to our coach. The other team cheated. The spectating rude, crude, and socially unacceptable meddling parents were screaming, hollering, yelling, cursing, badgering, harassing and annoying everyone at the game while distracting and embarrassing us, their kids. Hey parents am I describing you. Not many but I know you are out there continuing to act and behave disrespectfully. Shame on you as a person and more importantly as a negative role model to your kids.

Why did we win? We practiced. We prepared. We listened to our coach. We  followed the plan. We went the extra mile. We overcome obstacles. We made adjustments duirng the game. We respected the game. We were determined, focused and resilient. We communicated. We did not blame anyone or anything. We were lucky. The ball bounced our way since sometimes we do not win, the other team loses. Like in tennis keep the ball in play and let the other player make mistakes.

The first paragraph are excuses which describes failures.

The second paragraph are reasons which define success.

You make the choice for you. You gonna’ provide reasons or excuses?


The Difference Between a Home and a House:

When I was a kid we would visit our grandparents.

One set of grandparents found us sitting on the couch with those plastic skin ripping covers, not allowed to touch anything since we might break it and never ever go into the kitchen for a drink or food. Wipe your feet on the outside doormat and take off your shoes upon entering the house. Speak when spoken to. Never utter anything while watching their shows or eating a meal. Do you know how many sneezes, belches, yawns and farts I held in. It’s a miracle I did not explode. Finish all your food regardless. I never used the bathroom since I might make it dirty outside of the bowl. This was a HOUSE, a sterile and antiseptic building.

The other grandparents was a HOME. A comfortable, welcoming and inviting HOME. A little dirt and dust in the air and on the floor, a dish or two in the sink, leftovers in the fridge, boy were they good. A junk-room to hide and play in with all the stuff on shelves, in boxes and on the floor. A place for imagination and discovery with all that stuff. Fun stuff. Always a filled refrigerator accessible at any time. Family sleepovers using beds, couch and floors. We made a “fort” using towels, blankets, pillows and sheets as the frame and tables, chairs and desks to hold things upright. Everyone knew you were in the bathroom by the sound of the flush which echoed and reverberated throughout the HOME.

There was love, nurturing and encouragement in both places. I prefer the HOME which is what I hope I made for my family.


The Difference Between Recovery and Prevention:

There are two guys: Joe and Tom. Just random names so do not be offended if I did not use your name. I suppose I could have used my name but I didn’t.

Joe is fifty three years old and has a heart attack. He goes to the hospital. The doctor tells Joe to drop 30 pounds, quit smoking and drinking, begin an exercise routine, eat healthy and sleep more.

Joe begins the journey to meet the challenges of conditioning his mind, body and soul to achieve his goals. Joe joins a “health club”. Joe is now in RECOVERY.

While on the treadmill Joe meets Tom. They begin a conversation since they share some common ground by being at the health club. Of course, you know this is in direct contrast to the opening entry in this BLOG’s Post but let’s continue anyway.

Joe asks Tom, “Yo, how yuh doin”? Sorry for this but I grew up in Philly. Yeah, I know the Eagles won the Super Bowl.

Tom says great, how about you?

Joe, a bit nervous but he figures what the heck, says, “much better now” and proceeds to tell Tom about his heart attack, hospital stay, advise from his doctor and plan to get and stay healthy.

Tom, also in his fifties, says to Joe, ” You sound like you’re doing what I do. I have been active since I was a kid. I watch what I eat which is routine after all these years. I quit smoking in high school. I never got used to the smell of tobacco on my fingers which was more disgusting than when I would pick my nose and all I would smell is stale, nasty and funky tobacco from my tobacco stained digits. I indulge in a cookie or two or a scoop of ice cream a few times each month. Since I hated that septic tank mouth taste in my mouth I quit drinking a year or two after high school. I do not miss the junk food, tobacco or alcohol and the burdens it brought to my world.  Water is my friend and has been for many years. I am at the gym 4-5 times per week for my 1-2 hour workout and when not here I go for a walk 1-2 times per week sometimes on the same day as I visit the gym. I am doing everything I can to avoid a heart attack and more. Tom is in Prevention.

See the difference? I hope you said there is none. Correct.

Joe is in Recovery. Tom is in Prevention. They do the same or similar things.

The hardest part of Recovery is knowing and learning that you are not the only one. There is a half a world of folks who are in Recovery. The other half is in Prevention. All of us need to be in one of the two groups.

Keep It Simple – Keep – It Real







Beat BOREDOM, The Enemy Of Us All

I’m soooooooooooo BORED. Nothing to do. Same stuff, different day. Everyone is doing something but me. Oh, whoa is me.

Ever say any of that. Sure you have. We all have. Question is, what are doing about it?

First thing you do is shut off, put away and avoid all your electronics. I have 500 Social Media “Friends” and nobody to talk with since we have become an “a-social” society by relying and depending on Social Media. That is why “Communications” is a college degree program (which results in a new word:Debt, sometimes hundreds of thousands which is a terrible way to begin adult life, in debt that is, but we keep pushing kids into college instead of taking a year or two away from school to work, volunteer and learn life lessons which they could have learned on the field of play as kids but were too BORED.) where kids learn all about communications without having conversation, writing skills, face to face contact and other old fashioned more traditional methods of commuication which is actually talking sometimes in complete sentences. Oh what’s that. You must still have a Flip Phone. Sorry, actually I am not, for the rant. I hope I did not hurt anyone’s feelings.

Do you know the word “Phubbing”? Soon Websters will include Phubbing in their list of new words. So you are actually talking with someone face to face engaged in a conversation when the buzzer goes off indicating your cell phone has or is receiving a message. You look at your phone instead of maintaining focus and eye contact (Oh I forgot to take my meds to help me focus) with a real live in-person person while still distantly engaging in your conversation. Hold up. I gotta take this. It ‘s important (and you my friend are not). Yeah Okay. Got it. Meet you there in five. Sorry gotta go. Meeting my best friend for coffee. Wanna come. No. Okay. See ya. Whew, what just happened. Phubbing is snubbing your “friend” with your phone. Phone-Snub. Get it? Again sorry for the tangent rant though it is related somehow to the topic which I forgot. Oh yeah BOREDOM. That’s the world. Quick. Microwave. Abbreviated. I think some have stopped reading this BLOG. Prove me wrong, please

When we were kids we just went out and played even let our imaginations, remember imaginations, create something different not necessarily new. One time a new kid moved into the neighborhood and brought a game. We never knew of this game, but after its introduction, played it all the time. The game involved a round rubber ball and a broom stick which we got by unscrewing it from the bristles,. We called it stick ball. From there we went to wire ball, curb ball, step ball, wall ball, punch ball and half ball (when the ball was ripped or torn) all using the same ball.

What happens as we age. We become consumed with existing rather than living, and forget about what gave us pleasure which of course was play. Not all of us but many have forgotten their youth and the importance of play which now we think and talk about but unfortunately rarely do. Forget trying to figure out the excuses (failures) why we do this and focus on the reasons (successes) we can, should and eventually do something, anything positive, healthy and let’s not the forget the most important part of play which is FUN!!!

Examples are the best explanations so just look around and you will find folks riding bikes which has morphed from a kids play activity to a humongous worldwide business as well. Don’t you just love the weekend riders in their “gear” and sleek, stylish and expensive bikes. If that makes you feel good about yourself then Get Up!!! Get Out!!! Get Going!!! Stop being a cynical bystander, criticizing, and finding fault in others. Instead go your way and do something for yourself.

Many are members of a “club” which is a form of group which offers socialization, interaction, conversation, structure, camaraderie, support, involvement, activity, exercise and fun. Sounds therapeutic to me. I’ll bet most rider folks look forward with great anticipation, excitement, energy, enthusiasm and expectations all week at work and home anxiously, a healthy anxious, awaiting for their time with like kind folks, meeting new enthusiasts, sharing common ground and having some fun. I’ll also say that most watch the weather forecast well in advance of their weekend ride. Uh-oh washed out. How to fill the void. That is why it is good to have back-up plans just in case nature interferes with your fun. Time to take our play indoors.

So bikes are not you but something is. Here is yet another teenie-tiny partial list of Things To Do To Beat BOREDOM, The Enemy Of Us All. Remember none of this or anything else includes and involves your electronic stuff. Each category below has sub-categories which are way too many to mention here. Let me know if you need help finding Things To Do To Beat BOREDOM, The Enemy Of Us All. I will simply ask what did you do as a kid for fun and play.

General Categories: Sports, Museums, Art, Music, Dance, Chorus, Quilting, Volunteering, Home Repairs (stop putting it off), Arts and Crafts, trace your family history, night school and much much more, too much for here. By the way, we once had hobbies, what happened.

Keep It Simple – Keep -It Real





Weight Loss Management and Control

Want to beat your battle with the bulge?

Want to feel good about yourself with pride and dignity?

No pills, potions, powders, videos, memberships or anything else advertised as THE solution to an epidemic.

First get a physical examination from your doctor as well as your doctors approval for using a weight loss management and control plan. Tell your doctor about this weight loss management and control plan. Above all listen to your doctor’s advice.

First, after you receive approval from your doctor to pursue this weight loss management and control plan and your goal, go to the store and buy a comfortable well fitting pair of sneakers, walking shoes or similar footwear product you choose. Next, buy some comfortable shirts, shorts, sweats or whatever “work-out” clothes you prefer and comfortable fitting socks.

Second, is to go for a walk in a safe, secure location in your neighborhood, at your local high school if they have a track which most high schools have, a park on a trail or paved surface or a location of your choosing, remembering safety first which includes the weather so be aware of the forecasts. Take a bottle of water, some tissues to wipe your brow and a watch of some kind to keep check the time. Take a thirty minute walk to begin with and increase / decrease your walking time as you decide along with your doctors advice. Leave your electronics at home and enjoy peace, exercise, serenity and nature. Look at the sky, observe the birds, smell the flowers, look at the ground (maybe you’ll find  penny or two), nod your head, smile and say hello to fellow walkers and enjoy the experience. Keep an extra bottle of water in your car for the ride home or better yet, get to your walking destination by walking.

Third, is to eat smart and eat healthy. Manage and control your portions. Reduce or eliminate the two most dangerous white powdery substances: Salt and Sugar. I know, I know they are so good and I like them, but just know that they may not like you as much. Also, lose the alcohol, tobacco and other unhealthy stuff to ingest.

Eat the foods you enjoy and a variety of them. Create your own menu. Use the internet to find healthy recipes and sources for the foods you like to eat. Hey, guess what, please please please do not deprive yourself of some goodies once in a while such as a scoop of ice cream not a half gallon, a couple of cookies not the entire sleeve or a sliver of pie or cake rather than a slice or slab.

Here’s the simplified and somewhat over simplified secret:

Eat breakfast like a king, loading up for the day, lunch like a queen, refilling for the day and early evening and dinner like a pauper running on almost empty.  Fresh fruits and veggies for snacks. That’s it. Plain and simple just like me. Go to bed hungry and wake up hungry. Let the math do the work. It is a simple equation: Reduce the amount of your food and beverage intake and increase your expenditure of energy which is your walking exercise. Throw away the scales, tape measures and charts. You know it is working when your clothes become loose on your body eventfully sagging and falling down by themselves requiring you to go “new clothes shopping “yeah!!!”, which for many is just as beneficial, desirable and maybe, just a little therapeutic. Also, go to the stores for your purchases which gets you up, out and going instead of clicking through the stores.  By getting out of your home your going to a destination where guess what, you will walk some more!!!

Most important is to stay hydrated which is the current cliche meaning drink lots of water. So what if it interrupts your sleep causing you to go to the bathroom at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning. Stay hydrated. Water works best as we all have been told by the experts.

Time: We eat, sleep, work and use the bathroom everyday, well hopefully everyday if you know what I mean. Perhaps by regularly exercising and eating good stuff your regularity will return. So why not exercise everyday. I know it is impossible to do so with everyone’s over scheduled schedule but get out there as often as you can and make it happen for YOU!!! The difficult takes some time, the impossible takes a little longer.

I do this for myself, especially the regularity part, but there are no guarantees it will work for you. All of this sounds and reads easy, which it will be for you once you surrender to success and make it happen for yourself. However, if it were easy then everyone would be doing it and we all know that is not the case. You become the exception, a leader of yourself rather than a follower. You become empowered rather than enabled. You succeed rather than continue to not.

So there you have it: Keep It Simple – Keep It Real.

Empowerment. Feel Good About Yourself. Succeed.