Only a few Tuesday Tidbits Today from my Civil Community of Common Commentary.

I always thought the next big required rehabilitative medical treatment would be for folks damaging their digits from use and overuse of the electronic devises. Oops!!! So far I am wrong which happens more often than being right. Once I thought I was wrong but I was mistaken.

Actually, the doctors who will seeing an increase in business will be Plastic Surgeons. Why? With all the malicious miserable managers, lousy leaders and bad bosses spewing their venom in toxic workplace environments it will be the recipients of the rudeness and unprofessional behaviors who are constantly biting their lips to avoid reacting to the daily onslaught of savagery, stupidity and sarcasm delivered by the weak, warped and  and worthless wastes who sincerely believe they have power to hurt, harm and hate that will need the surgeons services.

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TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many choices!!!

Have you ever tried to decide which pair of footwear to buy? It is not easy. You find the right size but the wrong color. You find the right color but the wrong accent decorations. You find the right fit but not the name brand. And so on. And so on.

Stress, anxiety, fear and panic comes from indecision or second guessing your decision. Think a bit. Consider your options. Be open to change. Make the call. Decide and let it ride. Changes can be made. Kids transfer from school to school. Folks change their minds about lunch selections. Some labor over which clothes to wear. It’s endless, like the book I am writing abut things I do not know.

When you come to a place where you can only go left, right or turnaround, make your decision. If you are correct then fine. If not, go one of the other two ways or consult your GPS or read a map but not while driving and in motion. Park the vehicle for a few minutes, gather yourself, regain your composure and make a change altering your original decision.

Worry, doubt and confusion come form not having trust, faith and confidence to make a decision any decision. When playing cards some of the guys would say, “Think Long Think Wrong”. An oversimplification? Perhaps, but there is substance. Often we agonize over our thoughts, feelings and emotions worrying more about what others will think about us based on our decisions than we are concerned for ourselves and our well being.

Society is disintegrating because we cannot think for ourselves. We need to be told what to say, think, do and feel by experts or by someone who may not have our best interest in mind but has the need to offer their opinions which as we know are like a belly buttons, everyone has one.

Example: A popular long running television game show has a segment where the contestant must make a decision, a choice of a some kind. Invariably from the stage the contestant looks to their crew in the audience who are all barking, hollering and gesturing their advice, opinions and suggestions which the on stage contestant usually takes rather than making their own decision. Is it fear of failure or taking the initiative to decide for oneself. Is it having and needing someone to blame for our failures as is the case with our current culture. Not my fault. Whose fault? Your fault. Default. Asphalt!!!

Fear has tremendous power. Once it was used to motivate and inspire. Do this or this could happen to you. I trusted and respected my coaches but I also feared some of them since they were truthful, honest and most often correct. They led with their knowledge, experience, preparation, accessibility and personalities. Unlike today where intimidation, retaliation and blame are at the forefront of leadership.

Fear is an impediment to progress. Fear brings with it many negative components such as dismay, trepidation, anxiety, panic, angst, worry, doubt, confusion and many more than you can find on GOOGLE. Fear just might replace a different more well known and overused word (perhaps considered vulgar and inappropriate in reputation but used in abbreviated forms such as WT?), as the four letter word most feared.

We have made fear real and given it credence. Instead of using fear to motivate and inspire we use it to bring us down when actually most of what we fear and worry about never happens. We have been conditioned by the many forms of “actively passing” time using electronics and have been witness to innumerable amounts of negativity in the course of our day. We see and listen to horror stories all day. Plus, we talk about these events as conversation rather than sincerely asking  “hey, how are doing to day?” Well not good. I am going through ___________________. We don’t do that. Why? Because we are consumed with things that only happen to others.

Example: When The Weather Channel first came on the scene folks in Florida loved watching the big snow storms smother their home towns “Up North”. Wow, that looks terrible. How awful, no power, roads closed, everything closed. I hope they got to the grocery store to load up on toilet paper. I hope the plumbing still works. I better call my neighbors to get the scoop, no not the scoop they use for their dogs.

Just like blame, it’s not my fault, so to is it I am glad it is them and not me /us. Let’s get to the restaurant before the early bird is over. And bring the coupon. Did ya see the weather report. There’s a hurricane out there heading our way. After dinner we better go to the grocery store for essentials. Bring the leftovers. Better buy lottery tickets while we are there as well.

It is all related, decision making or lack there of, fear about making the wrong decision, fear itself which is the only thing we have to fear (FDR for those who need a history lesson) blaming others for our frailties (when you have one finger pointing at someone you actually have three fingers pointing back at YOU) and gaining comfort in others misery and suffering though there is no comfort from the misery of the miserable leaders out there. You know who you are. I’ll wager you get a perverse pleasure from making those under your control and dominance miserable. Get some help. Better yet be open to karma since what goes around comes around.

Example: There might be one person responsible for this wave of indecision that permeates throughout our world. This person had one flavor of food and almost 30 flavors of ice cream. The business dotted the highways and could be seen from afar as the bright pumpkin like colors of the buildings welcomed weary wayward travelers. Little was know back then of the affect and yes impact, of the tooooooo many choices would have on us in modern times.

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This will summarize what your have just read:

Good Judgement Comes from Experience and Experience Comes From Poor Judgement

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Time for you to decide. You can read my BLOG Posts which is fine. You can decide, choose, to spread the word of my BLOG to those in your social communities. All I am doing is asking you to do so. The choice, decision, is yours.

Keep It Simple Keep It Real.

POWER UP YOUR POWER ‘CAUSE THE POWER IS IN YOU!!!

Marty

hamp73@gamil.com

 

 

 

 

The following is one of my true stories.

Though it occurred about fifty years ago it is more relevant today than it was back then based on the multiple recent events in our country.

In 1969 my first assignment after basic training and schooling was at The United States Air Force Clark Air Base in The Philippines. After a twenty six hour flight, with a few stops along the journey, I arrived on my 19^th birthday, took a walk around the base and followed towering lights that illuminated a football practice field. Leaning up against a fence I watched until the end of practice and found one of the coaches to whom I spoke about my desire to play. He told me to come back tomorrow night at 7 PM which I did. That resulted in me being given a practice uniform which I used the following night. I was lucky to be stationed in The Philippines where, in addition to being a beautiful country with wonderful people, music, customs, traditions, folklore, history, culture and FOOD, I had the opportunity to learn, grow and prosper with education, awareness and knowledge not available in the traditional learning environment.

I planted myself on the defensive line where I stayed, started and played for two seasons making the all-star team both years. My life at Clark was filled with work, football, cards in the barracks on paydays. a bit of sightseeing and on occasion a visit to Angeles City for a San Miguel, food, music and participation in cultural and social activities. For many GI’s it was the chance to do things that were just reaching the middle class in America and which have always existed in the lower and upper class of the economic strata. Given the chance to go back guys would be lined up for miles to return to indulge in pleasures they probably never told anyone outside of those who had similar experiences.

 

The best part of my entire two seasons was that I was the only White guy on the starting defensive team which was quite spectacular for many reasons. Before each game we would change into our uniforms in a “hut” near the field. As we were changing a bottle of Thunderbird (what’s the word Thunderbird, what’s the price .60 twice) was being passed around by the starting defensive players, of which I was one as previously mentioned. The bottle came to me. All my teammates’ eyes were on me and with their eyes they were saying “Will he”? Without hesitation I lifted the bottle to my mouth and downed a big swig of T-Bird. The guys all cheered and we “high-fived” each other in brotherhood. We had two winning seasons and a few of us made the All-Star Team. We saw no color except our green uniform jerseys. We lived, worked, played and socialized together.  I miss the guys who often told me that “I had more soul than I could control”.  My life was enhanced, enriched and enlightened from the times I spent with the all the guys Black, White and everyone else.

 

The barracks in which I lived had been integrated the year before I arrived at Clark. Before this, the Black guys lived in remote barracks on the fringes of the base. I never saw where they lived but some of the old timers told me stories about the conditions.

 

My barracks was filled with Blacks, Whites, Islanders, Hispanics and two Jews of which I was one. We never had a problem. Even the guys from the South publicly adjusted to showering and sharing bathroom facilities and dining halls with guys unlike them. In private, though, their stories were quite inflammatory but they never let their emotions deter from their job performance and co-habitation with guys with whom they had nothing good to say.

 

In the integrated barracks next to mine there were Black Panther meetings several times a week.  Only the Black guys went and they did not allow their attitudes, feelings, emotions and everything else spread to the public community.

I may be naïve, stupid, ignorant, unaware or just plain old dumb but I never heard about of any violence, property damage or physical altercations during my 18 months on base at Clark.

 

There was an active and profitable Black Market at Clark which was NOT named Black Market because only Black guys were involved. Free Enterprise, Business is Business. For those involved the only color was Green as it is today. We had cigarette and liquor ration vouchers which a few entrepreneurial and enterprising guys used for profit by servicing their customers since in all businesses without customers to service you have no business.

Now customer disservice has trumped customer service and has become more of a customer self service and call 1-800-000-000 if you have a problem, issue or concern. (By the way, when calling 1-800 and prompted to press “1” for English only to wait forever to speak with a human, press “2” for Spanish since all the customer service folks speak English). One would sell their ration vouchers for a fixed price to the guys taking the risk and those guys would deliver the goods off base to downtown contacts who would sell the products to locals who were in the distribution business. Black Market Business just might be the second oldest profession.

 

Downtown Angles City was a divided town. Right outside the main gate was known as The Strip where anybody could roam the streets, participate in various offerings, indulge in the street food, and ride in a beautifully decorated Jeep leftover from MacArthur during World War II.

 

A couple of miles from the Strip was The Block where only the Black guys could congregate for their social interactions. It was well known by all non-Black guys that one did not venture down on The Block since many incidents occurred to those who visited who were not part of the community and culture. Twice I went down on The Block. Both times escorted by my football Black teammates who insured my safety and well being. While walking the streets, eating and drinking I was watched, visually screened and made to feel quite uncomfortable and unsafe by those Americans and locals who did not know my identity. Several times the table I was at with my Black Teammates was approached and my Black Teammates had to explain me. This is probably how Blacks feel when they walk around a store followed by staring eyes waiting for something to happen or Blacks who drive through neighborhoods unlike where they live as they face the onslaught of looks, doubt, concern, worry and fear from the locals.

 

Clark had a movie theater. I went a few times but couldn’t tell you what was showing. I do remember that it was custom, tradition and mandatory to stand at “attention” while the National Anthem was being played. The only guys who did not stand were the Black guys so please do not consider the 2017 protests as something new. Though I did feel awkward and a bit confused from my lack of knowledge I did understand after a few of my Black Teammates explained their plight and provided reasons for their non-involvement in the pre-movie ceremony. They all told me that until I walk in their shoes please do not pass judgment. A little knowledge, insight and wisdom go a long way to understanding. By the way, this was around the same time as the Black Comedy (nothing racial about Black Comedy, Black Ice or Black Friday) movie “MASH” was circulating. It was banned by the leadership at Clark because of its insubordination and inappropriate content which may have caused and influenced behaviors, attitudes and values to change since through the magic words of comedy, satire and mockery rests truth. And we all know truth should set us free but in today’s world it continues to hide and be hidden through manipulated obfuscation.
So, what does all this have to do with anything? Nothing much, if anything, at all. Only, perhaps, if we knew just a little about history, listen twice as much as we speak (two ears, one mouth, get it) and understood our own world we may just have the ability to focus on the important matters such as family, health, education, work, empowerment, critical thinking, communications, understanding, compassion, leadership, life-style, play, fun, laughter and everything else that has become an impediment to our society, culture and overall safety and well being.
By the way, the next time a Charlottesville event is scheduled anywhere in our country let’s have folks bring all the foods of their culture, nationality, ethnicity, religion and race and let the eating begin. Even those filled with hate will enjoy a good meal and leave wanting more of all that good stuff made, with LOVE, by those who they so ignorantly hate.
My solutions are all simple. Simple always works best. This is why folks get along with me since they like the simple things in life. Simply put: excuses explain failure while REASONS define SUCCESS.

Keep It Simple – Keep It Real

POWER UP YOUR POWER ‘CAUSE THE POWER IS IN YOU!!!

Marty

hamp73@gmail.com

 

This my take on a crisis in the workplace. I know it is negative which I prefer to avoid. My goal is to turn this into a positive, healthy, awareness raising, exposing the ugliness and actually doing something good for those struggling with this unwanted affliction. It all comes from the top. When the top is strong, successful, healthy and productive everyone  feels the strength, support and trust. When the top is in bully mode most everyone feels the wrath except, of course those still existing “yes” folks who agree (you doubt my leader and your leader as well? you doubt therefore you are? regardless of personal beliefs often contrary to the leaders but I must agree or else I will be out as well as all the other good folks) and who bow to the bully.

Nobody is to be treated this way. But we all know that is not the case. Like the truth The bully’s are out there. We do not always know where the truth is but we do know where the bully is and that is the truth.

Here is yet another LIST.

I am polling everyone to determine who has been in a workplace environment, or you know someone in this situation, where the below LIST, and many more synonymous words, can be used to describe a draining, intimidating and overall negative place to spend your day living in fear of the continuous threats, attacks and assaults made on your performance and most importantly on everything about YOU.

Earlier this week I read about a “leader” abusing the office, position and status for personal gain. Pick-up my laundry. Have my car washed. Make my personal, not business, travel arrangements. Pick-up my kids at their private school that your kids cannot afford to go to nor do you have the “right” connections to gain admission for your kids. Sound familiar? ETHICS???

Ha. Ha. Look at me. How did this person get that job? What gives this person the right to have subordinates live in fear of losing their jobs if they do not comply and follow the leaders lead doing whatever is asked? If asked, these “leaders” will, like some athletes, spread their territorial arms, shrug their shoulders, wear a facial expression of dis-belief and ask: What? What’d I do? You’re crazy.

Examples: Too many to mention here. Most are in high ranking positions of “leadership” with power, control and influence over those who are unfortunate to work for one of these entitled leaders who often complain about entitlements and do what they can to reduce entitlements for those who actually need help the most. Ah, the gall. The unmitigated gall of people who take advantage of their “good fortune” (emphasis on the word fortune which is how they made their fortunes), when they should be doing the direct opposite which is the hallmark of Leadership. Leaders lead by example. Healthy or not their power is felt trickling down the line to the newest member of the dangerous world of unbridled leadership. When will we get it. Just because they’re rich, powerful and almighty they think they know. They don’t. What they do know is how to play the game of get mine and move on to the next place where they will repeat the process of destruction of human performance, value and self worth all in the name of me (look at me, look at me, look at me) and what I can and will do TO you to make your life and world as miserable as possible but not as miserable as my own meager existence. I am the BULLY. No, not me, but you know to whom I am referring. If you are one of “these” bullies then shame on you.

As you see from the following alphabetical list I spent some time asking my good friend Webster, the dictionary not the television show character, for help. I don’t know much, if anything at all, but sometimes I know where to get the answers (not as efficiently as a Reference Librarian) I am seeking with and without internet help.

Acerbic

Acrimonious

Aggressive

Antagonistic

Bellicose

Belligerent

Bitter

BULLYING

Callous

Caustic

Combative

Confrontational

Contentious

Cruel

Distant

Entitled

Hurtful

Hostile

Isolating

Malicious

Mean

Nasty

Poisonous

Pugnacious

Rancorous

Retaliatory

Savage

Spiteful

Toxic

Threatening

Truculent

Venomous

Vengeful

Vicious

Vindictive

Virulent

Do some or all of these words describe your workplace environment? You can add other similar words to my list based on your experiences.

If you so choose you can let me know, anonymously of course, your tale of woe at your workplace. Be as detailed as you like. Be accurate, open and honest with your story. If I get enough stories and with everyone’s permission I can include them in a future BLOG Post or better yet we can create a book, have it published or ideally go on the speaking circuit with our stories. A REAL reality show!!! Remember everything is anonymous. It may be helpful and therapeutic for you to get it all out, vent in a safe place and let others know they are not alone in their horrific world of BULLYING at work.

My story occurred after college graduation working for a “leader” who verbally assaulted, tortured, abused, harassed, badgered (again, like those parents doing these behaviors at their kids sports games) and almost destroyed my spirt, passion and energy. Illegitimi Non Carborundum. It was under this leadership that I began my personal well being program of exercise, meditation and nutrition wanting to avoid the relentless pursuit of personal destruction. Illegitimi Non Carborundum.

In addition to me, this “leader’ made other staff, often referred to as ‘my staff’ suffer the assaults spread throughout the workplace. People walked on egg shells, shards of glass and lived on the edge and verge of defeat. Illegitimi Non Carborundum.

After a couple of years of this daily battle to survive the top leaders took the initiative and sent this leader on their way out the door. Some had a meeting with the top leader who listened to their stories and was shocked to hear the tales of despair. All the top leader said was I’m sorry”. Not good enough. Where were you when all this was happening and word about this sub -human behavior was known throughout the office. Where were you oh great leader. On the golf course? Schmoozing? Making deals for yourself? Oblivious, non-caring and apathetic to those who made your organization a highly efficient, well regarded, reputable, trusted and sought after group of experts in their various fields of expertise? Illegitimi Non Carborundum.

It’s not always Silly. Today Serious is the message. Tomorrow, well “ya nevuh no”!!!

Keep It Simple – Keep It Real.

POWER UP YOUR POWER ‘CAUSE THE POWER IS IN YOU!!!

Marty

hamp73@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Might you need a boost right now?

Wednesday, which is spelled and pronounced a bit awkwardly, was formerly known for a pre-pasta era noun, beans for the government and camel day. When buying a car, a generation or so ago, you prayed your car was “built” on a Wednesday not just before or right after the weekend.

Try saying the following silly stuff five times real fast. Practice in a room by yourself, in front of a mirror the way you were taught to practice public speaking, or if you are so brave, courageous and bold (like Wyatt Earp’s theme song, who’s he, Google or YouTube it) say them in front of family, friends, co-workers, etc and let the silliness make your day a success in addition to your daily accomplishments.

Here’s the list of a few difficult things to pronounce, especially in the fast lane. Remember five times real fast. See if you can get to five flawlessly, like riding a bull for eight seconds. Eventually you will succeed but until them have some fun.

*Your World

*Unique New York

*Toy Boat

*Irish Wrist Watch

*Truly Rural

*Literally Literary

*Three Free Throws

Now for my favorite:

Say the following ten lines as fast as you can. Don’t give up. Enjoy the silliness then get serious about completing this task. And have some fun with it as well. Offer it to others at lunch. Use it as an ice-breaker during the awkward social settings we find ourselves uncomfortably in after work at Not-So-Happy Hours of over indulging in reflux causing snacks, treats and goodies for all you foodies. Add to the quiet times when nobody can think of something to say especially at family gatherings. Do I really want to be here. You know what I mean. Family is great. Family is the foundation, backbone, support and strength of  societies, cultures and countries. However, there are occassions, though, when you need a bit of distance, space and time.

Ready – Set – Go as fast (even though I preach a slow it down lifestyle, hypocrite that I may be) as you can or want.

Try reading the following line by line to give you a visual focus. Be a rebel and do it from memory.

I apologize for the line-up. I tried to “left justify”, or is it signify, but I am mystified that I could not get all ten lines neatly and properly stacked. I must have clicked the “TAB”  (not the beverage) button and don’t know how to “un-TAB.

1. One Smart Fella, He Felt Smart

2. Two Smart Fellas, They Felt Smart

3. Three Smart Fellas, They Felt Smart

4. Four Smart Fellas, They Felt Smart

5. Five Smart Fellas, They Felt Smart

6. Six Smart Fellas, They Felt Smart

7. Seven Smart Fellas, They Felt Smart

8. Eight Smart Fellas, They Felt Smart

9. Nine Smart Fellas, They Felt Smart

10. Ten Smart Fellas, They Felt Smart

Easy. Right? Perhaps not at first. If it were easy then everyone would do it from 1-10 on  their first attempt. Did you go from one to ten without any mistakes? How far did you get?

A few may make it all the way from 1-10 with no mistakes but like most things in life, if it were that easy then everyone would be doing it (didn’t I just write that?) and we all know that is not the case with this silliness and the more serious side of our world.

Keep It Simple – Keep It Real

POWER UP YOUR POWER ‘CAUSE THE POWER IS IN YOU!!!

Marty

hamp73@gmail.com

 

Good Monday Morning,

I just found out I am one of about twenty million people in a heavy rain downpour, flash flooding and torrential precipitation thunderstorm and lighting weather system heading our way maybe your way as well. Check with your local radio and television station. Check with your airline if you are traveling using one the on-time performance leaders of business and industry. Your plane is scheduled to depart at 7:00 AM but wait. Not actually. That 7:00 AM departure time is when the plane pushes back from the gate and all the boarding groups are “in” the plane not “on” the plane, stowing all their stuff, microwaves, golf clubs, more crap than they ever will need for a three day escape from their misery, problems, issues and concerns, screaming into their cell phones oblivious to the world, as if nobody else is in the plane.  You may sit in the flight line queue for an hour so before the plane is airborne. Don’t worry all the delays are built into the flight times and schedules. Whew!!! And I thought I was going to have to get through this all my myself. The weather and its trickle down impact. Read on about impact.

Well, all the well dressed, bright smiles and positive attitudes, even when telling us of human disasters, property damage, carnage, welcome home uniformed parents from overseas better known as the onion thank you for your service, reassured me that I am NOT alone in this weather journey and there is comfort, not necessarily safety in numbers, twenty million of them (us) in fact.

I was told by the caring, compassionate, warm, friendly voices and the multi-colored maps boldly displaying the various zones with brightly illuminated indicators of specific regions of the storms, of the advisory, warning, watch, index of the impending storms that will be devastating for many of the twenty million just not sure exactly where. Can’t tell you that until after the storm is out of our region which is a fairly big region if twenty million people are impacted. Have no fears though. The weather folks will be out there driving through the storm wearing their windbreakers and hats with the company logo affixed, talking to the camera next to them instead of keeping their eyes on the roads, walking down flooded streets talking to stranded folks in their vehicles or watching a surfer enjoying natures power waiting for an emergency with the surfer to report as it is happening, That’s news. The present tense, not the past tense. Also, while those folks are out in the storm reporting to us they are also encouraging even pleading with us to stay safe and indoors, not to venture out in harms way as they are doing. AHHH, the mixed message from an earlier post. Love that word impacted. Much more powerful than affected. Like wisdom teeth hurt more when they are impacted and not just a toothache. I suppose twenty million folks are at or on their way to the store to buy toilet paper, milk, bread, flashlights (don’t forget the batteries) and everything they can get their hands on before the power goes out so they can pay for their stuff instead of having to resort to taking it without permission and payment.

Twenty million affected by the storms is not too bad since it only represents about seven percent of the USA Population. Ahhh, those statistics from an earlier post. See how things are related even when they are not.

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With all the TRANSPARENCY, OBFUSCATION controls the message.

The truth is somewhere just not available to us. Bribes, Graft, Corruption, Gossip, Scandal, Who’s doing what to whom, as long as it is not impacting (affecting) me who cares what they do since they’re gonna do it anyway. Morals, Ethics, Values, who are they for? Me. You. Us. Perhaps not them. It is all time fillers. Get Up!!! Get Out!!! Get Going!!! Do something. Participate rather than spectate. Confusion, Deceit, Doubt, Cynicism, Skepticism. Now that’s the stuff that sells

It’ like HONESTY. When you hear those all too telling words: “Let me be perfectly honest with you”, let the sirens go off in your head, bells, whistles and lights flash like the lightening in today’s storm and immediately think, Hey if you are being perfectly honest with me now what have you been before this warning about being perfectly honest with me right now. Suspicions. Can I trust you anymore? Should I have been trusting you up until now. Where is your TRANSPARENCY or did you just divulge it by being perfectly honest with me.

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I ain’t doing that any more or any less whatever your “that” is.

I’m gonna raise more hell than the alligators did when the pond went dry. Actually I’m not. It just sounds funny.

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Speaking of ADDICTIONS. Got your attention now. It is in vogue and fashionable, expensive and profitable, almost celebrity noteworthy to discuss addiction when those suffering and struggling are the ones who need to do the talking. Peer to Peer. Common Ground. Trust. Safety. Pain is Real. HELP!!!

Example: This might be a repeat from an earlier BLOG Post but what the heck filler is filler.

Many years ago I had to stand in line waiting for my daily work assignment. The first couple of days I was way back in the line. We had to remain quiet.

From the front of the room all I would hear was yelling, screaming, hollering, cursing, badgering, harassing, rudeness, profanity and no appearance of a nurturing heart. The guy giving out the work assignments was the guy behaving like modern day parents at their kids youth sports games. He was awful. Rude, Crude and definitely socially unacceptable even by the standards, norms and rules back then.

As I got closer to his desk he seemed to have calmed down, becoming a bit more human and able to communicate without all his nastiness.

On his desk were two huge thermoses, or is it thermi, that were empty since he went reaching for them attempting to drain every drop of the liquid fuel that eased his pain.

It wasn’t until after he consumed both containers and gulped down the contents that he reverted to a more acceptable status. The two containers were loaded with coffee and until he drank both containers he was unbearable, probably constipated as well. After he downed both thermoses, or is it thermi, he was “right” and he would actually engage in gentle, civil and pleasant conversation mostly about the weather not knowing how many millions of people are in the path of today’s forecast.

I told myself, self,  right there, at age 19, that I would never allow any product, substance, beverage food, except maybe cookies, okay ice cream, well sticky buns I know I know sugar, fat, sugar fat sugar fat, to have control over me.

I never have consumed a cup of coffee. I like the smell when the can is opened. I have made coffee reluctantly since no two folks “take” their coffee the same way which must drive the baristas, et al absolutely crazy. By the way being crazy is okay since it keeps you from going insane. Besides it is just a state of mind. Two sugars, one cream. No cream, fresh milk. Fake sugar (I’m cutting back), three creams. Half Regular coffee half De-caf coffee, no sugar, four creams. I am most certain there are scores and more combinations but what I know about coffee and all the combinations would echo in a thimble.

I did smoke cigarettes in high school but not during sports season. They were twenty cents a pack, $2.00 dollars a carton. Then the price jumped to twenty-five cents a pack. I hung in there. But then the price went to thirty cents a pack and that is where I drew the line. It was easy and convenient to throw down one coin, a quarter, on the counter at the corner store but now I had to add that extra nickle which put me over the top most significantly since that nickle, even that quarter gave me hours of pleasure, therapy and entertainment playing the pinball machines where I was quite adept and would win “free” games with my pin-balling skills.

In addition, cigarettes caused my fingertips to turn brownish yellow, my clothes to smell like a bowling alley causing me to spray deodorant on my clothes to hide the smell from Mom and Dad who knew anyway and worst of all is when I went to pick my nose all I would smell were my fingertips which smelled like a filled ashtray. Also, mouthwash makes your breath smell worse than the cigarette smell and it tastes nasty except when using after brushing your teeth.

I was never one to indulge in the brew. When I did some drinking it was beer. I would “nurse” one or two beers a night while all the other guys drank 6, 8, a dozen or more a night. Those guys got skinnier while I ballooned up forty pounds from my high school (no, I never scored four touchdowns or any for that mater in one game) playing weight which was overweight as well. My DNA can’t handle the beverage and the subsequent weight gain so I stay with cookies, ice cream and sticky buns as previously mentioned.

Drugs, Chemicals and other Substances. Learning comes in many forms. Often I learn from what I see and what I saw were the horrible negative affects and impact(?) of putting stuff in your body that ain’t suppose to be in there. Ugly. Destructive. Catastrophic. Not for me. Hopefully, not for you. Have compassion for those suffering and struggling with the illness. Help those who need help find help. It is out there like the truth. If you look you will find. You are NOT alone!!!

Keep It Simple – Keep It Real

POWER UP YOUR POWER ‘CAUSE THE POWER IS IN YOU!!!

Marty

hamp73@gmail.com

 

 

 

Good Thursday Morning!!!

Safe to say at this hour you are making plans or already have plans for the upcoming weekend. Great!!! While you are doing something good for yourself think about, try and actually do something good for someone else. You’ll feel good about yourself. No need to tell others, brag or boast just Get Up!!! Get Out!!! Get Going!!!

DEFINITION: Multi-tasking: Doing many things at the same time none of them very well.

MASH’s Dr. Charles Emerson Winchester III: “I do one thing. I do it very well. I move on”.

Simple advise yet in today’s overactive, hectic and accelerated pace very difficult to do.

Slow things down. Make time your friend. Potty trained kids will be empowered to do potty stuff when they are ready. Statistics give you some insight as to the time frame. Please do not attempt to advance the process to make you feel good and falsely artificially proud of your kid. Write it down and cross it off upon completion. We live life one day at a time. Why not tackle our tasks in the same manner. One at a time.

Silly: Multi-tasking or is it? This may be considered revolting, tasteless and disgusting but I think it is silly and somewhat educational. Ah, the Power of Definition. If this offends you I apologize. If you like it please laugh just a little since it or something like this has happened in your world. Specific names are not mentioned to avoid embarrassment and more importantly, to keep the peace.

EXAMPLE: Suppose there are five people eating dinner at the round dinner table (a round table is better especially at restaurants when you have large groups. it allows eye contact and conversation with everyone instead of isolating folks) and not in front of a screen. I know it is rare but it could happen.

There are two adults and three kids, two boys and one girl all of whom are of middle school age. While indulging in dinner there are conversations on various topics such as school, sports and family.

As often happens someone says something silly or unrelated to the topic and all of a sudden there is uncontrollable laughter, I mean, that deep, rich, hearty, belly aching, tears from the eyes, no sound coming from the mouth type laughter that spreads throughout dinner with a healthy side of the silly. Okay now, BREATHE!!!

During this explosion of uncontrollable laughter the girl, who is so involved with the entire laughing situation, multi-tasks echoing sounds from her body in the form of a sneeze, belch and fart all at the same time. The one thing that did not happen was there was no food or beverage flying out of her nose. One of the boys is so shocked at her outburst of genuine, authentic and real reverberations it takes him a few minutes to process the many normal body functioning sounds.

You see he lives a home where his Mom is the only female. The boy did not know girls made “those” sounds especially the flatulence. Once calm was restored and eyes were dry he said: “I didn’t know girls did that”. It was good he learned this at his age. If he waited until he was older, let’s say 25-30, he would have reacted much differently and perhaps would have discontinued a relationship because “I didn’t know girls did that”. Just wait my friend. You will learn. Keep an open mind. Now what is being taught in school? Oh yeah, standards and cores and sameness oh my. Guys if you want a relationship to be strong and lasting lift the seat, wipe the floor and do some chores. Contribute. Participate. Laugh. We’re all the same in many ways and different in others. That is the appeal, attraction and mystery of life.

The girl and her multi-tasking is the exception to the opening of this Post. She did three things, all at the same time and she did them very well. Most importantly since it was family there was little, if any, embarrassment, and if there was, the laughter and its unknown source released so many good feeling endorphins nothing else mattered. Just like The White Wing Dove, nothing else matters.

We all have been in a place where we Feared the Flatulence. After one or two ooops’s (like ooops I mis-spoke which are lies only softer sounding) we cleaned up and learned how to mange and control future explosive situations.

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Helpful hint and tidbit of useless information from my vast warehouse and storage facility.

EXAMPLE: You buy fruit such as apples, pears, peaches, plums and nectarines. I know you wash each fruit prior to indulging in its healthy delicious flavor and taste.

When you bring the fruit home immediately remove the “sticky” label that has the price code number on it. The longer you wait to remove it the more difficult it will be to cleanly remove the sticky label in one piece especially in the warmer weather where the sticky label can melt into skin of the fruit.

Since we do not know the ingredients of the sticky label it is suggested you remove it and wash the fruit as soon as you get home.

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How The Top Ten and Countdowns have taken over.

We love statistics. Listen and watch an election. Listen and watch the highlights. Without statistics there is not much else about which to talk. Just like without insurance the medical and legal businesses would have no income. Without statistics what we would talk about? Perhaps we can substitute something more meaningful, fulfilling and needed. Such as, How are YOU doing, feeling, getting along, making it, handling life’s struggles…………………………? Wait we can’t talk about those sensitive, emotional and delicate topics since we have no statistics to throw into the conversation. Better see a paid stranger expert who knows and can show us colorful computer generated charts, graphs and statistics.

Example: Take baseball. The highlights show us all the great catches. throws, hits and pitches. Look at the stats. The best hitters in the professional level have maybe, a batting average of .350 which, if a player is consistent throughout his career, is guaranteed a place in the Hall of Fame. The .350 batting average means that for every 100 times the player is batting he gets a hit 35 times which make that player a daily top ten highlight source. Of course I am not sophisticated enough to figure in the “OBP” which is, I think, On-Base-Percentage, that indicates a players total amount of times he makes it to first base via a walk, error, passed ball on a third strike strike-out or being hit by a pitch. That’s another entry into the statistics abyss. I am sticking to the basics of times at bat and times a hit is made, single, double, triple and home run. The player who only achieves 20 hits for every 100 times he bats is usually a journeyman type player, not very interesting statistically speaking, does not generate sales of his uniform affixed with his name and number and will doubtfully make it to the Hall of Fame. This player can gain notoriety by exceeding a previously achieved statistic such as hitting five home runs in one game, pitching a no-hitter or making the game saving catch in the 7th game of the World Series. These type players usually make excellent managers and coaches. Whatever this player accomplishes might be reduced in value when an asterisk is placed next to his name and statistical achievement especially if this players accomplishment supersedes a more well known and statistically successful player.

Perhaps another statistic is born here. Why not have a hit value bonus system such as a single is worth ‘X”, a double is worth “Y”, a triple is worth “Z” and a home run is worth “Q” since we need to boost the value, ego and notoriety of “Q” because it is probably the least used letter of our alphabet. The scholarly will refute this unless we include the “U” with the “Q” since both are united by the pen, pencil or keyboard.

What the highlights do not reveal is that the future Hall of Fame player, who may be a rookie or in the early stages of his career and so his countdown begins, makes an “out” at a rate of .650 which is never discussed by the unlimited number of panel experts dissecting every move the player, the teams and the league makes. Air time must be filled and statistics fill the void. Listen to guys at work, at the lunch counter and on their smart (?) phones and you will hear statistics repeatedly discussed as they are on radio, televisions, podcasts and everywhere else.

I don’t know how athletes perform when they are constantly under the microscope both on and off the field of play. I played pool with a friend. He could make any shot from anywhere on the table. As soon as I said, “I’ll bet a quarter you miss the next shot”. He missed the next shot.  The pressure of performance and the bet caused him to lose focus and concentration. We installed floor coverings. Often the woman of the house was home. She would always arrive to look in on our progress at a critical time which is when the seam connection of the floor covering had to be cut precisely. As she watched I told her, very politely, that if she wanted her floor installed properly please leave the room for about ten minutes, then come back. If she wanted a slice of finger in the seam feel welcome to stay and observe. Most of us do not like to be observed while practicing our craft. Look up the statistics on that. The word practice is confusing. I do not want my doctor to “practice”. I want him / her in the the big leagues at the top of his / her game. I do not want him / her to practice or be observed when serving me unless, of course, it is a teaching / training situation for new doctors.

The most accurate basketball shooters make about 40-45% of their shots. Hall of Fame for those players. I know. I know. You never make a shot you don’t take. The highlights show us all the shots going through the basket. Sswwish!!!. But what happens to the other 60% of the shots. Bricks (there are so many bricks you would think these players were in the Masons), Air Balls. Hit the side of the backboard. The highlights do not show us those attempts. Kids watch the highlights and every shot goes in so they think that every shot they take should go in and when their shots don’t go in they must face the reality, disappointment and truth that most of their shots will not be made. Failure exceeds success. Ask successful folks and, if the are honest and truthful, they will tell they “failed” on their journey to success. Missed shots affects behaviors, attitudes and performance. Guys curse, yell, scream and holler when their shots miss the target, especially missing an open lay-up. We all have done that, even the pro’s. Watch the game and see the reactions of a missed shot. It should go in. Why didn’t it. According to my statistics I will miss more shots than I make just like everyone one else. And I thought I was special and unique like I have been told and coddled all my life. After all with my statistics and at age 25 I am destined for the Hall of Fame. Future Hall of Famer is the current handle pounded into a statistic hungry craniums or is it cranii.

The same kind of unofficial amateur analysis I just described can be found in most athletic competitions from youth sports to the pro ranks. Statistics rule, dominate and control each sport. What statistics can never reveal is HEART. All the experts discuss everything possible about a game, a sport, a player. What is rarely discussed is the HEART an individual has and how they use it. You can teach talent, you can’t teach HEART. Those who do talk about HEART usually don’t have it. I can’t describe it but I know it when I see it in sports and well beyond. You can fake most everything but not HEART which is in your DNA, Soul and, of course, HEART.

COUNTDOWNS: They’re everywhere. Elections, The Big Game. All Events. The First game of the new season. Stay with us. Coming up in a few minutes is the story you have been waiting for and the story we have been teasing you with the past 46 minutes. The clock silently clicks reducing the Countdown numbers. I’ll bet there is a wagering source that allows you to place a bet on when the first Christmas Commercial will be on television. Who will it be? Who will be first. They are lining up in advertising command and control centers anxiously waiting and wanting to be the first. Similar to media panelists all on the edge of their seats impatiently waiting to have their voice heard, opinions offered and, of course, supporting all their comments with statistics.

I think the Countdown began with one of the most successful enterprises in the business community. A business that is used as a model at elite business schools. A business that has been providing countdowns, without the clock in the top left or right corner of the screen, for decades promoting events months ahead of scheduled delivery. Can you guess the business I am suggesting as the Countdown Pioneer in modern day society and culture?

People waste their time, energy and lives existing in a Countdown world. Oh no, three more days until I have to go to the dentist. Ten hours and its back to that dreaded toxic, venomous and poisonous work place environment where I must go along, faking it, or else. Six days until finals. I feel the pressure, stress and anxiety building in my soul. This is how you lose control. The Countdown. It can be exciting if the particular Countdown does not affect you. But, when it does you feel the pain. I feel your pain. Wuccha ya gonna do. Let it win. Heck NO. You win. I win. We all win. “Illegitimi Non Carborundum”. Google it.

Better yet use a dictionary if people still use one. If not, you can always ask a Reference Librarian who will know where to find the answers. But to do so you might have to actually go the library and locate the Reference Librarian. Furthermore you might have to speak with a live person face to face. Can that be done? Face and meet that challenge and you will feel good about yourself.

Keep It simple Keep It Real

POWER UP YOUR POWER ‘CAUSE THE POWER IS IN YOU!!!

Marty

hamp73@gmail.com

 

 

Part One

One DIFFERENCE between Religion and Spirituality.

Religion is wonderful for many REASONS. It gives us a foundation on which to live our lives, definition, purpose, as well as a place to share like kind thoughts, philosophies and values. Religion offers traditions, customs, folklore, music, structure, leadership, social interaction (remember this one please), observances, rituals, guidance, direction, inspiration, support, FOOD, language, education and community (remember this one as well). It is, also, the place where amateur gamblers got their first taste of gambling in the form of raffles, 50-50’s and bingo.

The best thing about Religion is that it is portable.

Example: Let’s say you are living and working in location “A”. You get transferred, retire or decide to relocate to location “B”.

If you have kids in school the first thing you do is register your kids into the local or private school districts. The next thing you do is find and join your preferred House of Worship, hereinafter referred to as “HOW”. Both situations allow you to be part of a Community.

You do these two things or at least one of them to become part of a familiar, friendly, warm, welcoming, inviting COMMUNITY. You are now part of the whole instead of being isolated looking in from out since it is important to have human interaction beyond the workplace, breweries and anti-social media. Actually Social Media is mislabeled. It should known as “A” Social Media, since there is messaging instead of human involvement, the exchange of ideas, thoughts and general conversation / communications and eye contact. If you cannot get into someone’s eyes, where messages live, you will never get into their soul. I suppose the POWER OF DEFINITION has changed the meaning of Socialization. Oh, the professors will lament on this one, and the malls, for generations.

Many cities had neighborhoods of a diverse cultural Community. During the day folks would assimilate, ride the trains, subways and buses to work and back home to their familiar neighborhood where their native language was spoken, as they ate the foods (oh those wonderful smells and tastes which is what the explorers were looking for as they chased the spices, flavors and fragrances) of their countries, listening to homeland music and reveling in the history of their previous worlds, hopefully, passing family stories down to their kids, especially the language component. One of the recent Popes could speak most any language which meant, as he traveled the globe, he could say in the local language, “excuse me, where’s the bathroom”. Quite empowering. Give your kids your language and they are rich beyond money. Traveling helps too. Just ask the Study Abroad kids who traveled to countries where English was NOT the most spoken language. They survived and enjoyed their experiences.

Spirituality differs a bit. Spirituality is often explained but rarely ever well expressed because of its individuality. Perhaps spirituality is like fingerprints and snowflakes, no two alike. It allows you to make the decisions. You define your spiritual world. You bring in those things that offer you peace, calm, tranquility, serenity and void of the structure found in religion unless, of course, you want that structure.

Spirituality is more flexible, opening your mind, body and spirit to places heretofore, perhaps, unbeknownst to you. Mediation, music, exercise, creativity, art, nature, music, relaxation, aromas, massage, chanting, scents, fragrances and foods enlighten your world without rules, regulation and procedures.

As there is with Religion there is NO calendar in your Spiritual world. Look at the calendar and you will see that each month there is some sort of, Religious or not, holiday, observation and customary event to celebrate. Except, of course, for August when everyone rejoices in summer. The calendar is your event schedule many of the events  add to the stress, anxiety frustration and panic of doing it right. Perfect DOES NOT exist.

Part Two

What have we done “to”, not “with or for”, our kids, et al?

We school them with tests, measurements and evaluations. We encourage or is it push them to excel with Honors, AP, IB, PSAT, SAT, ACT, Exams, Tutors, Tutors and more Tutors.

We structure their FREE TIME with sports, arts, clubs, teams and activities.

Example: When our kids were in elementary school the local town offered a half day day camp. Word quickly spread around town causing the inevitable race and panic to get those kids registered or else. Sign-ups were at town hall beginning at 8 AM on a Monday morning. My gut told me to get there early. I arrived at 7:15 AM and was about fifteenth in line. When asked, I was told the folks first in line arrived at 5:30 AM. Don’t want to be blocked out like the guy trying to place a bet in the movie The Sting.

I was one of only a few Dads. There were five Moms in front of me, none of whom I knew so engaging in conversation was remote. I did listen, however, and soon discovered the five Moms were “tag-teaming” responsibilities as they exchanged checks for payment for tennis lessons, swim lessons, piano lessons, karate school, art class, gymnastics, soccer camp, dance class, private baseball skills training and of course academic tutoring for their elementary age kids. Once the logistics were completed four of the Moms were dispatched to their designated sign-up and payment responsibilities. Each Mom left with checks in hand and a defined destination. To miss one sign-up would cause a “glitch” (don’t you just love the word “Glitch”, sounds so terrible) in their schedules not for the kids but for the parents who planned their days around their kids’ filled hours of activities. These were probably the same parents who placed a “sticker” on the vehicle, probably an SUV, indicating their child is an Honor Roll Student at  ?????? Elementary School. Yes I have seen those stickers. Who’s it for, the kid or the parent? Look at me!!! Look at me!!! Look at Me!!! The kid doesn’t even know what Honor Roll is.

The same kids maintain that drive to strive throughout high school. Next they are thrust into the debt creating world of college where they exist by the necessity to survive. Here is where they find out who they are or who they think they are at least as they were constantly told earlier in life. All of a sudden the valedictorian is in class with twenty other valedictorians and discovers “I ain’t that great” or am I. Quite shocking, revealing and unnerving to find out you’re not the best of all the rest even when you put yourself to the test. I’m just a regular person and that is okay or is it? An awakening is happening not for the kid who already knows, but for the parents.

College offers many wonderful, thrilling, exciting, challenging, rewarding, worthwhile, enlightening, enriching ways to learn and do things previously not approached. If they are lucky they can learn about themselves as well. How do know what is good unless you have experienced bad. Things such as making the bed, doing the laundry, taking out the trash and cleaning the shared bathroom are all part of self discovery as is accountability, responsibility and consequences. Oh wait, we hire people for that. Wrong move parents. When you do you are still enabling your kids and not empowering them.

College gives kids the chance to take root, grow, blossom and succeed. They actually feel good about themselves earning, not just receiving, affirmations for the work they do. College gives kids the chance to expand their worlds, explore opportunities they never knew existed and accomplish more than they ever thought possible. Kids achieve beyond their imaginations and expectations and still maintain grades, participate in events and, oh yes, indulge in the “social” component including gatherings, tail-gating and debauchery. They soon learn there is more to life than grades. Priorities!!!

Graduation. Celebration. A Goodie Bag. Travel. Work. Career. Education. Unknown. Undecided. Help!!!

Overnight kids go from a full plate of daily involvement, learning, growing, prospering and thriving. In one move they are back home in their rooms with only the illuminated screens to keep them connected to a life they created while away from home.

Home which has been loving, nurturing, accommodating, safe, warm, inviting and comfortable is still is the same as when the kids were younger. Only now a young adult has reentered the premises without the college world that offered support, freedom, independence, autonomy and empowerment. The plate becomes empty and in need of filling and fulfillment. Time to start over, not necessarily from the beginning but with new definition.

Example: Kids go from everything to almost nothing. Now the ugliness of loneliness, lonesomeness and being alone quickly sets in and eats away at the heart and soul of previously vibrant, energized and productive kids. Loneliness is everything it is cracked up to be. When the experts analyze, critique and dive into it they will discover that Loneliness is the root cause of depression, anxiety, stress and most everything else associated with our feelings. Medicine companies will deny this based on their experts and continue to prescribe doses to adjust our mood and feelings numbing them along the way. Why do you have to get numb to feel something? One possible solution is simple to say but a bit difficult to do, especially since kids are not in the built-in college Community where most everything is the readily available and easily accessible both, the good stuff and not so good stuff as well. One message or preferably one phone call actually talking with a real person, is all that is needed to get a game going or get some food. Best of all walking is the preferred mode of transportation. Community. Cities are being reinvented. Nobody will cook. Take out reigns. Life in a POD. Space, or lack thereof, will eventually replace Loneliness as the culprit for our woes.

Keep busy and indulge in the things that make you feel good about yourself. Keep away from things, and more importantly, people, who bring you down. Stay focused on yourself. You come first. Being alone is okay. You can shop alone. You can go for a walk alone. You can do almost anything alone. But when that is done and you are still alone, loneliness creeps in and consumes your spirit, energy and drive. Humans are social beings and we have the need to interact well beyond the illuminated and charged screen.

It sounds easy but we know it is not. If it were easy then everyone would do it and we all know that is not the case. Like everything in life it takes work, especially once you leave the cocoon, shell and nest of the life you created on your own but not alone. Nobody can play the game of life alone.

Now you are probably thinking where am I going with all this?

Time to blend Part One and Part Two. Remember “HOW” means House of Worship.

Part of Religion is to be a member of a HOW for all the reasons mentioned in the opening part of this BLOG Post. The HOWs cater to young families with children offering religious school, activities for the kids, charity and family events. HOWs also, focus on their more elderly and senior members nurturing them in hopes of receiving some, part or all of their accumulated good fortune which the HOW wants to receive when the Will is read. No cynicism here just the truth and facts both of which are my limitations.

Who is missing from the equation? Kids, ages 22-30+. The HOWS have little, most have nothing to offer this demographic. HOWs wonder why membership is down. All they have to do is look at the gap in those to whom their services are most needed. Nothing fancy. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just a person or small group of kids with whom to have lunch, go bowling, go for a hike, visit a museum, beach, white water rafting, zoos, board games, movie night or any of a number of activities kids once did in their youth. For more see my BLOG Post about BOREDOM.

In addition to the kids who move back home, consider the kids who relocate to a place for a one-two year program or job not necessarily school. Who do they have? Nobody except co-workers in their 30’s, 40’s and older most with families or struggling with their own stuff. Oh sure, join a gym. Many nice places to go and visit but who wants to go alone (maybe once or twice but wouldn’t it better, healthier and enjoyable to have someone with whom to share the experience?), eat alone, communicate with the illuminated screen which only darkens our day.

The HOWs are missing the chance to perpetuate their HOW, build their membership and provide a much needed service for an awaiting, eager and ready audience. When pressed, kids will tell us they need some help. Listen to the kids. If you do not hear their words watch their behaviors which are signals for help. This method may have not been needed in previous generations but in the present and based on what we have “to” our kids it is greatly needed and also much appreciated but they’ll rarely tell us that. Their smiles will let us know we done good!!!

Those who are hurting and longing for social connections to fill their time with positive, healthy, appropriate, familiar and fun stuff to do. Anything that evolves from this is a bonus, perhaps the start of a new family generation. Let the cycle continue. Listen to the kids. In most situations they know better than the elders.

I am, also, including the Military Veterans who return home from seeing and doing unspeakable things in unheard of locations in the name of freedom while others increase their portfolio amounts. Daily they struggle and suffer from all sorts of issues emotional, physical and environmental. They, too, are longing to re-connect with their “buddies”. By the way, the relationships developed during college and military life are essentially irreplaceable. Only folks experiencing those relationships can understand and appreciate the magnitude and depth of the human contact, energy and spirit that drives us. Daily, Military Veterans  are eliminating themselves from our world.

Next on the list are the millions of “Social Media” enthusiasts who are desperate for companionship. I have 500 friends and nobody to talk with, more importantly, nobody who will listen to me with understanding, empathy and compassion. No judging me since I need to get things out to somebody preferably not a stranger. Who will be my friend? Won’t you be my friend? Who wants to have lunch? That is the cry, plea and need of those seeking comfort, companionship and control.

How about the rest of us. What is there for us. We’re on our own. Unless we get lucky and find a safe place to be. Where is our next Community? What can The HOWs provide in addition to their taking?

Now it is time for me to beg, yes beg. I beg you, as you sit gazing at an illuminated screen in your cubicle, office or “bull-pen”, meandering through the mall glued to your hand held illuminated screen or in a vehicle, hopefully as a passenger, again aimlessly looking at your hand held or dashboard illuminated screen for directions to anywhere, I beg you to forward this BLOG Post to everyone in your connective world most of whom have, themselves, gone through the subject matter of this BLOG Post, know someone going through the ordeal and want to make everyone aware of the most important part of this commentary: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

The HOWs are part of the overall problem and can be, with a little effort, be a bigger part of the solution if they so choose. Reasons rather than excuses. Solutions not blame.

Loneliness abounds. We are reminded of it by well known artists namely The Piano Man, Sgt. Peppers Heart and Only the Lonely. You have make the effort not to be lonely, lonesome and alone. In order to get there first you must leave. Leave the loneliness behind you and build a beautiful, hearty, positive life for yourself, of course with a little help from your friends, real friends that is not the imaginary artificial created by electronics and rechargeable devices. Face to face friends. With you in the tough times friends since anyone can be with you when things are going well. Fair weather fans they were once known as. Love you while you are winning and leave when you when you are not. Friends. Define yours. You have that power. You only need one!!!

Pretty heavy stuff for a Monday. It came to me yesterday while chatting with a family friend of many years. Thank you my friend.

You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. Please do not pick your friend’s nose. Hey, I needed that after writing this post. Lighten up a little.

Keep It Simple- Keep It Real

POWER UP YOUR POWER ‘CAUSE THE POWER IS IN YOU!!!

Marty

hamp73@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good Saturday Morning!!!

This is my “SYK” which means “So You Know” rather than FYI. Hey, why not try something new and start a new trend maybe even creating a “Brand”.

I thought this would be a good time to offer my LIST or rather my Table of BLOG Contents which may be unnecessary for followers and of interest to those new to my BLOG. Since there is no cover on which to judge my work at least here you will have an idea of the content.

Here’s another LIST:

*Is This What We Have Become?

*This Is Serious, Not Silly

*FREE, Or Is It?

*The MESSAGE

*The Power Of ONE

*How SMART Are We?

*Good Friday Morning Even Though It Is Not The Official Good Friday. It Is My Un-Day.

*Some Silliness – Some Serious – All Simple

*You ‘Bout Ready To PLAY?

*Differences: Some Silly – Some Serious – All Simple, Once You Get It

*Beat BOREDOM, The Enemy Of Us All

*Weight Loss Management and Control

*Yet Another LIST

*The Importance of PLAY, Regardless Of Your Age

*Healthcare: Bought and Paid For By US

There you have my up-to-date list of BLOG Posts which will keep you occupied for a few minutes to inform, enlighten, energize and elevate your spirits, thoughts and your world in general.

Keep It Simple – Keep It Real

POWER UP YOUR POWER ‘CAUSE THE POWER IS IN YOU!!!

Marty

hamp73@gmail.com

PS: Thought for the Day:

I never remember anything I forget and I never forget anything I remember.

 

Yesterday, for about five miles, I was driving behind a school bus filled with kids driving home from a full day of day-camp.

Sitting in the way back seats were a couple of kids who were waving to me enthusiastically seeking my return wave to them I think the head jockeys call it stroking. Like when you say “hi” to someone and they do not say “hi” back to you. You gave one stroke but got none in return so you feel weak, left out perhaps overlooked insignificant, neglected making you feel you did something wrong. I have worked in places where the “leadership” walked right by me ignoring me, never making eye contact, lost in their own empty world. How did they become leaders. Isn’t communications an essential leadership quality? I wanted to wave back to the kids in the bus but had to think about it.

In different times I would have not hesitated to accommodate, participate and reciprocate their waves (Not the wave you see at sporting events). The kids were properly seated in their seats and not standing in the aisle. Safety first. In today’s damaged world I chose not to wave back. Sad isn’t it? It mean the bad guys have won or have they? The cycle will soon revert back to a time of trust, compassion and understanding. Let’s make this happen. Join the movement to civility.

I was thinking of my safety and how my participation in the wave activity might be interpreted or misinterpreted. Did the bus have cameras recording my license plate numbers, letters and my picture? Might my wave be interpreted as offensive? Might I put myself at risk by waving back? Who knows. Am I paranoid. No, just cautious. Cause today, ya never know.

It was disappointing to me for not feeling comfortable and confident to wave back. It might have been disappointing for the kids whose expectations were not fulfilled.

Example: When we were on a family car road trip our kids sat in the “way-back’ section of the station wagon (yes, I am one of those guys). They would wave to the cars behind ours and most often folks in those cars would wave back. We played the license plate game. My wife had a magnetized map of the USA and each time we discovered a license plate state we would call out its name and my wife filled the empty map space with the appropriate magnet. On two of our road trips we discovered cars from all fifty states, yes even Alaska, Hawaii and Canadian Provinces as well. We told our kids the Alaska and Hawaii cars might be rentals, were shipped to the contiguous 48 states or transferred here when folks were transferred by their jobs or the military. The Canadian vehicles crossed into The USA at the borders. We met a traveling family in the hotel pool, at night after dinner and their license plate filled a spot on the magnet map. That is how we “broke the ice” with those fine folks. They were from the colder region middle part of our country. The kids played and splashed in the pool and we adults, guess what, did the same thing. Our definition of fun. That was about 20 years ago. We still, occasionally, exchange yearly family updates at holiday time.

Back to the way-back. In addition to the passenger car waving, our kids loved to motion to truck drivers to sound their horn. The kids would pump their arms up and own signaling the truck driver to get into motion and sound, rather, blast the horn. Many truckers obliged and our kids reveled in their excitement. As the truck drivers would eventually pass our station wagon he would wave to my wife and I with a big smile on his face knowing he made our kids happy and maybe himself as well, by doing good for someone else, a stranger at best. One final blast of the horn and off he went. His truck must have been empty allowing him to accelerate past us.

Example: Most every night after dinner, clean-up, chores and oh yes the homework, when our kids were young, I would take them to the neighborhood playground. This gave my wife some quiet time to talk with her Mom, read a book and relax from her long day. I am not a hero just a guy doing some good for his family and selfishly for himself. Guys who bragged about not changing their babies diapers were never at the playground. There the kids would let off steam, run, play, jump, climb, slide, swing, get sand in their sneakers, get dirty from a muddy puddle which is great since kids need to get dirty and interact with other kids doing the same things. Some kids they knew from school while other kids were strangers only until play took over.

For as many kids playing there were just as many or more “grown-ups”, parents, grandparents, baby-sitters, a few nannies for those who could afford to out source some parenting and care-givers.

We all hovered, made idle chit-chat and kept an eye out for the bad guys who were the cause of the many adults in attendance. You see fear is a motivator. Safety first. The good news is that the town eventually installed a Port-A-Potty which was quite welcome since most of us were at the playground for about two hours waiting for darkness to send us home and to the bathroom. More importantly although the Port-A-Potty was vital, a local police patrol car and officer made a drive through the playground offering reassurance, visibility and safety. The Power Of One!!!

One night I knew I would be late in taking our kids to the playground. A neighbor was on her way to the playground. I asked if she could take our kids. Without hesitation, she did as I have done so often, by instructing the kids to “hop in the back seat, seat belts on. Safety first.

I arrived, by myself, at the playground about thirty minutes after our neighbor took the kids to the playground. I parked the car, approached the playground and felt dozens of pairs of eyes checking me out. Who is this guy coming to the playground by himself is what I felt. Most were the regular attendees who knew me by face if not by name. But, out in the parking lot by myself I could have been anybody, one of the bad guys. As I got closer some of the eyes veered away since there was facial recognition. But it wasn’t until I opened the entrance gate and our kids came running up to me jumping in my arms, Daddy, did I feel welcome and secure. Thanks kids.

Keep It Simple – Keep It Real

POWER UP YOUR POWER ‘CAUSE THE POWER IS IN YOU!!!

Marty

hamp73@gmail.com

If you so choose feel free to send me a message telling me what you think of my BLOG. Positive, healthy, constructive comments are always welcome. I know I have faults and I am working on them.

 

 

As you know most of my BLOG Posts combine a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Some silly, some serious and usually a blend of both. Mostly I want to raise your awareness and have you think about my BLOG Posts and maybe have a chuckle or two as well. If nothing else I can be your supply of idle chit-chat, better yet, useless information you can use to fill time, break the ice and talk with your family, friends, co-workers, colleagues, acquaintances, neighbors and anyone else in your world. Even better you can give them my BLOG address so they, too, can have topics about which to talk with those in their worlds. And so and so on and so on. Just like a commercial many years ago. Best of all it’s FREE.

After reading and listening to yet another example of mistreatment of people against people I must indulge in the most serious of human behaviors or is it misbehaving, to be kind but I don’t want to kind so here goes.

What happens to people when they get a little bit of power, authority. leverage, dominance and control?

Example: Take a regular person who gets up, goes to work, cares for their family, participates in community activities and is considered by most to be a nice guy. One day the nice guy gets a promotion at work to supervisor, manager, administrator or coordinator and morphs into a creature heretofore unbeknownst to everyone. The nice guy becomes a tyrant, watching performances, overseeing everyone’s day to day movement, criticizing workers for the most minute of infractions, constantly checking the time clock looking for an excuse to dock someones pay, publicly in front of co-workers insulting, berating, harassing and embarrassing not only the workers but the nice guy himself. Where did this person come from and how did they evolve. Perhaps, the new position is too much to manage, control and handle so they take it out on former work “friends”. Perhaps they get a perverse pleasure from abusing their underlings. Perhaps they are afraid of looking bad in front of their boss so they instill a culture of fear, intimidation and ridicule chasing morale and staff out the door. Look at the turnover rate of any organization and you soon discover why it is or is not happening. People stay in a job for many reasons but those with energy, drive, passion and ambition will soon find a place where they are appreciated and rewarded for their performances while the work bully maintains their lonely existence perpetuating the cycle and destroying the image and reputation of the organization which one day will discover their staffing mistake but at what price.  It takes a lifetime to build a solid, trustworthy and reliable reputation and about ten minutes to lose that hard earned reputation. One person can do all the damage. Most of the staff want to complain but are afraid of retaliation by “it”, the source, and management of course. It is only when the “it” does something against management that management takes corrective action. Lots of stuff is written about Leadership but few are actual genuine leaders. It’s not their fault or is it?

Example: During military service there was a nice guy who played cards with us, played some ball, had a beer, talked trash and did his job as well as most of us. He was well spoken with a bit of a twang and drawl in his voice, tall, athletic and convincing in manner. One day he is chosen as a squad leader and is given the symbolic rope which he attached to his uniform as a sign of leadership, not necessarily respect. Ooh!! ooh!!! look at me or rather look at my rope. I am somebody and you’re not. We respected the rope and all that it represented but we did not respect the former nice guy who turned into a tyrannical bully constantly from wake-ups to lights out yelling, screaming, hollering, cursing, badgering, harassing (just like sideline parents at their kids youth sports games embarrassing their kids) and in general abusing his power. Nobody went to him, nobody talked to him. He lived in the barracks with us but isolated from engaging in what formerly were time passing wind down rituals of social interactions. The responsibility that came with the rope was new to him and he resorted to tactics that were his demise at least with us. His supervisor marveled at his performance but was concerned about the morale of the rest of us. Gone was the joking, kidding, fooling around, laughter, fun, play and all the things we did to get through the day. Work was completed but with little energy, spirit and pride.The symbolic rope destroyed our former nice guy, us and the entire squadron of young men who were calling out for leadership. It was given to the wrong guy for all the wrong reasons which turned out to be excuses. It was not his fault or was it?

Example: Not it really gets ugly.

The bully comes in many forms but with similar characteristics. One thing to remember is that the bully was bullied way back when though the will rarely, if ever, admit to it. Rather they use an explanation not a reason or even an excuse.

The bully feels like he is on the lowest step of a ladder always looking up to nowhere. The bully feels lower than whale dung in the ocean. To elevate their position and status the bully resorts to tactics always verbally, emotionally and physically attacking the smaller and weaker as their target and victim.

Concern is given to the bully but what is there for the victims of the bulling who are scarred and scared for life while the bully continues to go through the motions of their miserable existence. The bully extracts the soul, spirit, energy and dynamics of life of their victims for the rest of the victims lives. The bully is shown and given sympathy. Oh you didn’t have friends, never got invited to a party, weren’t called on by the teacher (I’ll bet you were but chose not to participate out of fear and embarrassment of being wrong) always isolating, hiding in fear of the thought of rotting in their dismal life position in which they placed themselves with the help of the ones who bullied the bully. By the way, you can find sympathy in the dictionary somewhere between shift and symphony two words I choose to use as examples rather than the two words which may be offensive since I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. It’s never the bully’s fault or is it?

Example: This example is most difficult.

What happens to people (I’m being kind here with the word people), when they get a little power and leverage especially when it comes to personal and social relationships? Do they think they are actually as good as they have been told. Do they think this “relationship”position opens up opportunities not possible before providing opportunities to over step social and intimate boundaries especially by force. Some guys who couldn’t “score” in a bordello get a little power, they are now in control and you will do as I say, ask, command and demand or else_________________. We know what the “or else” is. And the cycle continues. Everything is good until it is not. Everyone is great until they are not. It’s everyone else’s fault or is it?

I understand there are those who are driven and attracted to those who have power, money, control and influence. I can live with that. But what about integrity. You know what integrity is? It is having the opportunity to take advantage and choosing not to. It is picking up trash or dog waste when there is nobody there to see you do it. You do it because that is who you are. Do you want to be around people with integrity or the shameless people who constantly blame the world for their condition and who take, take and take the heart, soul and spirit of their targets. It’s never their fault or is it?

The bully is everywhere. Slowly they are being exposed. They walk the streets. They are predators. There is no profile. It has no borders. It can be anyone based on the power of definition. When is beard a beard? After two days of stubble growth or does the beard have to be down below your multiple chins to be a beard? I don’t know and probably neither do you since there is no clear definitive definition (how’s that for redundancies?) upon which to rely. It’s an opinion and like a belly button we all have one. We are shocked when we hear the latest story of bullying, abuse, dominance, power and control. However, like most of the breaking news exclusive headlines, the more we here the same type of shocking stories thrust in our faces and brains the more desensitized we become. Like cursing, the more you hear so called profane language the softer it becomes. Hell and damn were used on television in the 60’s and panic ensued. Sponsors were boycotted. Censors went wild banning language. Words are just words and no meaning until they are given definition. Lenny Bruce, don’t take my words. Power lies in definition. You create something, you name it just like you named your kids which is where you had the power of definition. It’s never the bully’s fault or is it?

I may have previously written this. I can tell much about a guy by the way he handles himself on the field of play. It becomes apparent early in the game and as much as they attempt to alter their game their habits dominate. They make themselves known from their game which cannot hide the truth about character, dignity and integrity.. They play their game and show their temperament, sacrifice, teamwork, isolation, attitude, confidence and many more signals about their character or lack thereof. Just like when you are interviewing for a new job. All the experts say you and the interviewer know within a few minutes whether or not you will get the job. That’s why there is an incestuous fraternity of people who “gotch” your back, no not your back but theirs. Nobody has your back but you.

Especially in the national spotlight. They hide and protect each other and fill positions for their brethren qualified or not. Perhaps it is to return a favor or to keep sensitive and damaging information (leverage) away from the spotlight How else can a person who gets removed from a high level position surface in a similar level position or even higher in a different organization. Check their pedigrees and find the truth.

APOLOGIES:

I apologize for using “he” to represent all.

I apologize for rambling which is sometimes my style or lack thereof showing its ugliness.

I apologize to all those suffering and struggling with bullying, the recipients not the bully. For the bully please stop and get help. You’ll grow to like, love, trust, be honest and respect yourself which is when you can do the same with and for others instead of doing your bullying TO others. You may even be forgiven, hopefully not forgotten, though you may take forgiveness as permission to continue to bully more and more. It’s up to you. On an episode of MASH pilots who dropped munitions on villages destroying lives, communities and and property were taken to those former vibrant and functioning villages and shown the damage, destruction and chaos caused by the munitions droppings. If the bully knew the life long damage they caused perhaps they will find their heart and soul allowing them to return to a human and humane life, living instead of existing.

Lastly for this Post.

I apologize for having the need to write it.

Keep It Simple – Keep It Real

POWER UP YOUR POWER ‘CAUSE THE POWER IS IN YOU!!!

Marty

hamp73@gmail.com

PS: I need to do this: Gotta get some silliness in this post.

If a writer writes, a singer sings, a cook cooks, a teacher teaches and a driver drives does a plumber plumb, a doctor doc and a mason mase.