Good Thursday Morning!!!

Safe to say at this hour you are making plans or already have plans for the upcoming weekend. Great!!! While you are doing something good for yourself think about, try and actually do something good for someone else. You’ll feel good about yourself. No need to tell others, brag or boast just Get Up!!! Get Out!!! Get Going!!!

DEFINITION: Multi-tasking: Doing many things at the same time none of them very well.

MASH’s Dr. Charles Emerson Winchester III: “I do one thing. I do it very well. I move on”.

Simple advise yet in today’s overactive, hectic and accelerated pace very difficult to do.

Slow things down. Make time your friend. Potty trained kids will be empowered to do potty stuff when they are ready. Statistics give you some insight as to the time frame. Please do not attempt to advance the process to make you feel good and falsely artificially proud of your kid. Write it down and cross it off upon completion. We live life one day at a time. Why not tackle our tasks in the same manner. One at a time.

Silly: Multi-tasking or is it? This may be considered revolting, tasteless and disgusting but I think it is silly and somewhat educational. Ah, the Power of Definition. If this offends you I apologize. If you like it please laugh just a little since it or something like this has happened in your world. Specific names are not mentioned to avoid embarrassment and more importantly, to keep the peace.

EXAMPLE: Suppose there are five people eating dinner at the round dinner table (a round table is better especially at restaurants when you have large groups. it allows eye contact and conversation with everyone instead of isolating folks) and not in front of a screen. I know it is rare but it could happen.

There are two adults and three kids, two boys and one girl all of whom are of middle school age. While indulging in dinner there are conversations on various topics such as school, sports and family.

As often happens someone says something silly or unrelated to the topic and all of a sudden there is uncontrollable laughter, I mean, that deep, rich, hearty, belly aching, tears from the eyes, no sound coming from the mouth type laughter that spreads throughout dinner with a healthy side of the silly. Okay now, BREATHE!!!

During this explosion of uncontrollable laughter the girl, who is so involved with the entire laughing situation, multi-tasks echoing sounds from her body in the form of a sneeze, belch and fart all at the same time. The one thing that did not happen was there was no food or beverage flying out of her nose. One of the boys is so shocked at her outburst of genuine, authentic and real reverberations it takes him a few minutes to process the many normal body functioning sounds.

You see he lives a home where his Mom is the only female. The boy did not know girls made “those” sounds especially the flatulence. Once calm was restored and eyes were dry he said: “I didn’t know girls did that”. It was good he learned this at his age. If he waited until he was older, let’s say 25-30, he would have reacted much differently and perhaps would have discontinued a relationship because “I didn’t know girls did that”. Just wait my friend. You will learn. Keep an open mind. Now what is being taught in school? Oh yeah, standards and cores and sameness oh my. Guys if you want a relationship to be strong and lasting lift the seat, wipe the floor and do some chores. Contribute. Participate. Laugh. We’re all the same in many ways and different in others. That is the appeal, attraction and mystery of life.

The girl and her multi-tasking is the exception to the opening of this Post. She did three things, all at the same time and she did them very well. Most importantly since it was family there was little, if any, embarrassment, and if there was, the laughter and its unknown source released so many good feeling endorphins nothing else mattered. Just like The White Wing Dove, nothing else matters.

We all have been in a place where we Feared the Flatulence. After one or two ooops’s (like ooops I mis-spoke which are lies only softer sounding) we cleaned up and learned how to mange and control future explosive situations.


Helpful hint and tidbit of useless information from my vast warehouse and storage facility.

EXAMPLE: You buy fruit such as apples, pears, peaches, plums and nectarines. I know you wash each fruit prior to indulging in its healthy delicious flavor and taste.

When you bring the fruit home immediately remove the “sticky” label that has the price code number on it. The longer you wait to remove it the more difficult it will be to cleanly remove the sticky label in one piece especially in the warmer weather where the sticky label can melt into skin of the fruit.

Since we do not know the ingredients of the sticky label it is suggested you remove it and wash the fruit as soon as you get home.


How The Top Ten and Countdowns have taken over.

We love statistics. Listen and watch an election. Listen and watch the highlights. Without statistics there is not much else about which to talk. Just like without insurance the medical and legal businesses would have no income. Without statistics what we would talk about? Perhaps we can substitute something more meaningful, fulfilling and needed. Such as, How are YOU doing, feeling, getting along, making it, handling life’s struggles…………………………? Wait we can’t talk about those sensitive, emotional and delicate topics since we have no statistics to throw into the conversation. Better see a paid stranger expert who knows and can show us colorful computer generated charts, graphs and statistics.

Example: Take baseball. The highlights show us all the great catches. throws, hits and pitches. Look at the stats. The best hitters in the professional level have maybe, a batting average of .350 which, if a player is consistent throughout his career, is guaranteed a place in the Hall of Fame. The .350 batting average means that for every 100 times the player is batting he gets a hit 35 times which make that player a daily top ten highlight source. Of course I am not sophisticated enough to figure in the “OBP” which is, I think, On-Base-Percentage, that indicates a players total amount of times he makes it to first base via a walk, error, passed ball on a third strike strike-out or being hit by a pitch. That’s another entry into the statistics abyss. I am sticking to the basics of times at bat and times a hit is made, single, double, triple and home run. The player who only achieves 20 hits for every 100 times he bats is usually a journeyman type player, not very interesting statistically speaking, does not generate sales of his uniform affixed with his name and number and will doubtfully make it to the Hall of Fame. This player can gain notoriety by exceeding a previously achieved statistic such as hitting five home runs in one game, pitching a no-hitter or making the game saving catch in the 7th game of the World Series. These type players usually make excellent managers and coaches. Whatever this player accomplishes might be reduced in value when an asterisk is placed next to his name and statistical achievement especially if this players accomplishment supersedes a more well known and statistically successful player.

Perhaps another statistic is born here. Why not have a hit value bonus system such as a single is worth ‘X”, a double is worth “Y”, a triple is worth “Z” and a home run is worth “Q” since we need to boost the value, ego and notoriety of “Q” because it is probably the least used letter of our alphabet. The scholarly will refute this unless we include the “U” with the “Q” since both are united by the pen, pencil or keyboard.

What the highlights do not reveal is that the future Hall of Fame player, who may be a rookie or in the early stages of his career and so his countdown begins, makes an “out” at a rate of .650 which is never discussed by the unlimited number of panel experts dissecting every move the player, the teams and the league makes. Air time must be filled and statistics fill the void. Listen to guys at work, at the lunch counter and on their smart (?) phones and you will hear statistics repeatedly discussed as they are on radio, televisions, podcasts and everywhere else.

I don’t know how athletes perform when they are constantly under the microscope both on and off the field of play. I played pool with a friend. He could make any shot from anywhere on the table. As soon as I said, “I’ll bet a quarter you miss the next shot”. He missed the next shot.  The pressure of performance and the bet caused him to lose focus and concentration. We installed floor coverings. Often the woman of the house was home. She would always arrive to look in on our progress at a critical time which is when the seam connection of the floor covering had to be cut precisely. As she watched I told her, very politely, that if she wanted her floor installed properly please leave the room for about ten minutes, then come back. If she wanted a slice of finger in the seam feel welcome to stay and observe. Most of us do not like to be observed while practicing our craft. Look up the statistics on that. The word practice is confusing. I do not want my doctor to “practice”. I want him / her in the the big leagues at the top of his / her game. I do not want him / her to practice or be observed when serving me unless, of course, it is a teaching / training situation for new doctors.

The most accurate basketball shooters make about 40-45% of their shots. Hall of Fame for those players. I know. I know. You never make a shot you don’t take. The highlights show us all the shots going through the basket. Sswwish!!!. But what happens to the other 60% of the shots. Bricks (there are so many bricks you would think these players were in the Masons), Air Balls. Hit the side of the backboard. The highlights do not show us those attempts. Kids watch the highlights and every shot goes in so they think that every shot they take should go in and when their shots don’t go in they must face the reality, disappointment and truth that most of their shots will not be made. Failure exceeds success. Ask successful folks and, if the are honest and truthful, they will tell they “failed” on their journey to success. Missed shots affects behaviors, attitudes and performance. Guys curse, yell, scream and holler when their shots miss the target, especially missing an open lay-up. We all have done that, even the pro’s. Watch the game and see the reactions of a missed shot. It should go in. Why didn’t it. According to my statistics I will miss more shots than I make just like everyone one else. And I thought I was special and unique like I have been told and coddled all my life. After all with my statistics and at age 25 I am destined for the Hall of Fame. Future Hall of Famer is the current handle pounded into a statistic hungry craniums or is it cranii.

The same kind of unofficial amateur analysis I just described can be found in most athletic competitions from youth sports to the pro ranks. Statistics rule, dominate and control each sport. What statistics can never reveal is HEART. All the experts discuss everything possible about a game, a sport, a player. What is rarely discussed is the HEART an individual has and how they use it. You can teach talent, you can’t teach HEART. Those who do talk about HEART usually don’t have it. I can’t describe it but I know it when I see it in sports and well beyond. You can fake most everything but not HEART which is in your DNA, Soul and, of course, HEART.

COUNTDOWNS: They’re everywhere. Elections, The Big Game. All Events. The First game of the new season. Stay with us. Coming up in a few minutes is the story you have been waiting for and the story we have been teasing you with the past 46 minutes. The clock silently clicks reducing the Countdown numbers. I’ll bet there is a wagering source that allows you to place a bet on when the first Christmas Commercial will be on television. Who will it be? Who will be first. They are lining up in advertising command and control centers anxiously waiting and wanting to be the first. Similar to media panelists all on the edge of their seats impatiently waiting to have their voice heard, opinions offered and, of course, supporting all their comments with statistics.

I think the Countdown began with one of the most successful enterprises in the business community. A business that is used as a model at elite business schools. A business that has been providing countdowns, without the clock in the top left or right corner of the screen, for decades promoting events months ahead of scheduled delivery. Can you guess the business I am suggesting as the Countdown Pioneer in modern day society and culture?

People waste their time, energy and lives existing in a Countdown world. Oh no, three more days until I have to go to the dentist. Ten hours and its back to that dreaded toxic, venomous and poisonous work place environment where I must go along, faking it, or else. Six days until finals. I feel the pressure, stress and anxiety building in my soul. This is how you lose control. The Countdown. It can be exciting if the particular Countdown does not affect you. But, when it does you feel the pain. I feel your pain. Wuccha ya gonna do. Let it win. Heck NO. You win. I win. We all win. “Illegitimi Non Carborundum”. Google it.

Better yet use a dictionary if people still use one. If not, you can always ask a Reference Librarian who will know where to find the answers. But to do so you might have to actually go the library and locate the Reference Librarian. Furthermore you might have to speak with a live person face to face. Can that be done? Face and meet that challenge and you will feel good about yourself.

Keep It simple Keep It Real





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